


Interrupted Lines

by lod



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marie doesn't exist but the rest is based on Golden, Slow Burn, Souyo is endgame, Spoilers, This was SUPPOSED to be like 5-6k words but LOL IT'S NOT., Tumblr Prompt, broken bonds, nothing wrong with Marie but she's boring to me and I didn't wanna work her story into there :P, spoilers but I don't want anyone to feel misled!, the rise/yu is portrayed as not ideal and doesn't last
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2020-11-07 22:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20824892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lod/pseuds/lod
Summary: Yu never meant for Yosuke to find out about his crush. He definitely didn't mean for him to find out like this. Now everything is wrong, and when Rise offers a shoulder to cry on, he takes it. Will he ever get his best friend back?(The original prompt was "A kiss... in a rush of adrenaline.")NOTE: Major endgame spoilers!!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be pretty short. It's not. It's ~22k without the epilogue. But the whole thing is written, I'll upload regularly as I edit, I promise it'll be complete very soon!  
As mentioned in the tags: don't read if you're reading for the Yu/Rise. Endgame is Souyo, and it is not poly.

“Yosuke, partner! Over here!”

Yosuke passed Yu the ball, and Yu lined himself up for the shot with his blood pounding in his ears. There were only a few seconds left on the clock; if he made this three-pointer, they could still win the game. He watched the ball arc through the air, bounce on the rim for a long, terrifying moment, and finally swoosh through the net moments before the buzzer rang, the team exploding into loud whoops and cheers.

“That’s my partner!” he heard Yosuke yell amidst the rest of the noise.

Yu turned back towards him, catching his eye, and they ran towards each other with matching grins. When they met, Yu picked Yosuke up, swinging him around with a laugh.

“We did it!” he exclaimed as he put Yosuke back down with a kiss, heart still beating much too fast.

When he pulled back, the first thing he noticed was the strange, sudden silence. The second was Yosuke’s hand, still held up as if for a high five. The third was the look of sheer horror on Yosuke’s face, and that was when he realised the awful mistake he’d just made. Months of carefully hiding his crush and all it had taken was one burst of adrenaline to undo it all. He took a step back, starting to hyperventilate as he tried to figure out how he could fix this.

Kou passed behind him and tapped his shoulder. “Locker room,” he said quietly. “I’ll keep the guys busy here.”

Yu glanced back at Kou, trying to slow his breathing down and smooth out his terrified features, but from Kou’s sympathetic wince, he could tell he’d failed. He followed Yosuke towards the locker room with his head down, trying his best not to overhear the whispered rumors that were already starting.

In the locker room, Yu changed in silence. It wasn’t until he had his bag slung over his shoulder that he noticed Yosuke was still sitting on the bench in his basketball shorts and his jersey. When Yu realised why, he felt his heart shatter.

Yosuke had been very clear from the start about his sexual orientation. He liked girls. He’d been outright terrified of Kanji just over the idea that he _might _like guys, to the point that he hadn’t even wanted to share the same tent as him. And now Yu had gone and _kissed _him, in public to boot. It was assault, was what it was, and complete betrayal of the trust they’d had in each other. Of course Yosuke didn’t want to change in the same room as him.

“I’m…” Yu took a trembling breath. “I’m so sorry, Yosuke. I—I’ll go, and I understand if you want me to stay away from you. I’ll tell the team, I’ll figure something out so we don’t have to go in the TV together, I’m just… there’s no excuse,” he finished, hanging his head.

“Come on,” Yosuke said in a concerned tone, “there’s no need for that. We’re still best friends. It’s just, uh, I’m flattered, but… you know I’m not gay, man.”

Yu’s eyes flooded with tears, and he swallowed back the sobs that threatened to burst from his throat. Of course he knew that; that was why he’d planned not to ever say anything. It didn’t make the rejection any less painful, though.

“I know. I know, Yosuke, I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I promise I’ll never do it again.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, dude. We’re good.”

His actions belied his words, though; he still wasn’t changing, his arms and legs remaining crossed tight. That pose was his “armor,” as Yu thought of it—the one he wore when he wasn’t with the team, to protect him against the jeers and insults of the townspeople who blamed him for Junes. Seeing it turned against him made Yu suddenly want to throw up.

He reached to clutch at his chest, unable to stop a pained hiccup from escaping. “I’ll see you around,” he managed to choke out before rushing away to go hide his tears in a dark corner of the school.

* * *

The next few days made it obvious Yosuke was uncomfortable around Yu, regardless of what he’d said. He didn’t call him up anymore to hang out, nor blew up his phone with text messages when he was on break at Junes. It was a small blessing that summer vacation had started just after the game, sparing Yu the agony of hearing Yosuke find excuse after excuse not to spend time with him. There was the added bonus that it would keep rumors at bay for now, although Yu knew once school started back up there would be no escaping them.

Yu did his best to keep up appearances. He had busy days, with part time jobs and studying occupying his every free moment. But even though it felt like his life had fallen apart, the TV world stopped for no one, and with the appearance of Mitsuo Kubo on the Midnight Channel, he had to call the team together frequently to make progress. He did his best to keep things normal, to plan things out with Yosuke like they’d always done, but the tension between them was undeniable. The worst was the day he realised Yosuke hadn’t called him his partner since the kiss. He faked a stomach illness to end their outing early that time, unable to focus any longer. It wasn’t even much of a lie, really; the realisation truly had made him feel sick.

When he came home in the evenings, he rarely found the strength to do more than sit in his darkened room, hating himself more every day for ruining the best friendship he’d ever had. Sometimes, he gave in to the temptation of looking up online, but his casual, happy posts and pictures only reminded Yu of the new messages he wasn’t receiving.

* * *

Just about a week after that fateful basketball game, Rise cornered him on their way out of the TV.

“Senpai, can you walk home with me? You can pick up Dojima-san’s tofu order.”

Yu looked up at her, surprised. It would certainly be the first time Dojima had bought tofu. The meaningful look Rise gave him kept his mouth shut, though. He nodded, and fell into step by her side.

She let Kanji walk on ahead of them, waiting until they’d gotten out of earshot to ask him, “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.”

She glared at him. “Don’t lie to me! I can tell, you know. With Himiko. I can’t read your thoughts or anything, but you’ve been so moody lately it’s all I can sense. It’s putting everyone on edge!”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Rise, I didn’t realise it was impacting everyone else. I’ll do my best not to let it show.”

Rise sighed. “Senpai, I wasn’t criticizing you. I was asking as a friend. There’s obviously something wrong! Usually I’d let Yosuke handle it, but… well, he’s giving off strange readings, too. It’s related, isn’t it?”

Yu looked at her for a long moment. He didn’t want to bother anyone with a problem that was entirely his own fault, but… talking to someone sounded so good right now. He felt completely lost. He wasn’t sure Rise was the right person for it; she’d never hidden her affection for him, and talking to her about his own crush seemed unnecessarily cruel. But she’d offered, and of everyone on the team she was the person he trusted most, the one who’d understand this sort of thing best. He made up his mind, apologizing silently to her for his selfishness, and led them to the shrine to talk.

There, they sat on a bench under a tree. He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders before saying anything, seeing her shiver in the night’s chill.

“So, spill it,” she prompted him afterwards, turning towards him with her hands on her knees. “What happened?”

“Well… you were right, it is related to Yosuke. I, um…” Yu scrubbed a hand across his face. “You promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Please, Senpai,” Rise scoffed. “I can keep a secret.”

Yu inhaled deeply and braced himself for the outburst. “I kissed him.”

“Oh my god!” Rise yelled, then slapped a hand over her mouth guiltily and repeated much more quietly, “oh my god, really?”

He nodded, staring at his feet.

“And… I’m guessing he didn’t take it too well, did he.”

“No, it could have been worse. He didn’t freak out, or run away, or anything. But he hasn’t—” Yu clenched his fists in his lap and took a deep breath—”he hasn’t asked me to hang out since then, he never calls or texts, and…he doesn’t call me his partner anymore,” he finished in a broken voice.

“Oh, _Yu_…” Rise shifted closer to him, carefully putting an arm around his shoulder and squeezing. The comforting touch shattered the last of his restraint, and he let his forehead fall onto her shoulder. She put her other arm around him as he finally gave in to the tears he’d been fighting off for weeks.

They stayed like this until he stopped crying, her arms warm and gentle around him. He drew away, wiping at his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking to you, of all people, about this. It’s not very considerate.” He reached for the edge of the bench to stand up. “Come, I’ll walk you home.”

Rise tightened her grip to keep him from moving. “I’m not gonna lie, Senpai. I wish we were here under different circumstances. _But that doesn’t matter._ I’m here for you, ok? We all are, we’re your _friends_. You’re allowed to ask us for help with stuff outside the TV world too, you know.”

Yu gave her a watery smile and she released him, settling back against the bench. “Now, do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s fine.”

“No,” she retorted, “it’s not. It’s ok to not be ok, you know! You don’t have to keep it all inside until you’re walking around like some sort of Yu-shaped thundercloud.”

He made a face and sighed. “Yeah. You’re right, it’s not ok. But it’s also past midnight, so… maybe not tonight?”

Rise squinted at him. “Fine. Tomorrow, then. I don’t have to work at the shop.”

“Hm, I was planning to study, but I guess I can do that later.”

“Alright,” Rise said as she stood, “then it’s a date!”

“Rise…”

“It was a _joke_,” she laughed, latching onto his arm as she always did, leading him away from the shrine.

* * *

The next morning, Yu’s phone buzzed while he sat in the living room drawing with Nanako. He suppressed a sigh when he saw that it was from Rise; he’d hoped she’d forgotten about his promise the previous evening.

> **Rise**
> 
> u cn come ovr 2 my place @ 2, k?
> 
> c u soon senpai!1!!

Part of him was tempted to cancel on her. He was so used to keeping all his emotions to himself that the idea of opening up to anyone made him want to hide under the couch and never come out. He knew she had a point, though; it wasn’t going to do anyone any good if he had a mental breakdown in the middle of a battle, nor at one of his many jobs, for that matter. Too many people were counting on him, inside and outside the TV world. And the truth was… he kind of _wanted _to talk about it. He was hurt, and tired, and so tired of hurting.

> **Yu**
> 
> I’ll be there. See you soon.

* * *

Rise’s bedroom was exactly the sort of place he’d imagined it to be; everything was pink and frilly, with stuffed animals everywhere—the epitome of “girly.” He sat on the edge of her desk chair, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of cushions and posters and decorations. It was the complete opposite of his very minimalist, utilitarian bedroom.

“Come here,” Rise said as she jumped onto her bed, patting the spot next to her. “You look like so formal sitting over there. That’s no way to have a heart-to-heart!”

Yu frowned at the concept of a “heart-to-heart,” which sounded much more sentimental than what he’d been planning on, but joined her on the bed anyway. He sat stiffly next to her, conscious that it was the first time he was sitting on a girl’s bed.

“So. Tell me everything! What happened, why’d you kiss him?!”

“Okay, well, there was a basketball game on the last day of school, right?” Yu started hesitantly. “I asked Yosuke to play with us, because we were short one person. We thought we were going to lose—I mean the team _is _pretty mediocre—but somehow we managed to pull through, and I was so excited about it that when he ran towards me for a high five, I… kissed him. He looked so horrified when I did. He said we were still friends, but he doesn’t even want to be _around _me anymore. I miss him so much, Rise.”

“Um, ok. Wow. Don’t take this the wrong way, but, how did you think he was going to react?”

“I didn’t!” Yu exclaimed, wringing his hands. “Think, I mean. I didn’t think. That’s the whole problem. Of course I knew he wouldn’t be ok with it. I never meant to do it. I wasn’t ever going to tell him I had a crush on him, I’m not stupid.”

Rise laid a hand on top of his, keeping him from twisting and tugging at his fingers. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s gonna be ok. He’s your best friend, he’ll come around.”

“You really think so?”

“He’d better. And if he doesn’t, he never deserved you,” she replied heatedly.

Yu gave a dry chuckle at that. “Thanks, Rise.”

“I mean it, ok! You’re amazing, and he should realise it’s a compliment for you to be interested in him!”

“I don’t think he sees it that way. And anyway, I kissed him without his consent—no, worse, with the knowledge that he wouldn’t be ok with it. That’s not exactly best friend behavior.”

“Well… well, I guess it’s not _great_. But he said you guys were still friends! Maybe he just needs some time to process it.”

“Maybe…” Yu replied dubiously.

“What _I_ think is, you need a distraction.”

“I’ve got plenty of distractions, I’m working 5 different jobs this summer. Plus taking care of Nanako, and studying.”

Rise rolled her eyes at him. “Those aren’t distractions, Senpai. I meant something _fun_. Ooh, I know! Let’s go to Okina City together.”

Yu narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m not sure going to Croco Fur will distract me much.”

“I wasn’t going to take you shopping!” she replied indignantly. “I was thinking we could get some crepes and then hit the arcade. Sugar and games are the best kind of therapy.”

“You go to the arcade?” Yu asked, surprised.

“Um, _excuse _me? Where do you think I got all those stuffed animals?”

* * *

That evening, after a day in Okina followed by a night of at his tutoring job, Yu laid in bed staring at the sky through his window. For the first time in a few weeks, he almost felt… ok. Not good, not by any means—he still missed Yosuke more than he could have ever imagined missing anybody—but better. He’d been so focused on his best friend that he’d forgotten he had other friends, too.

* * *

The rest of the summer passed without any changes in Yosuke’s behavior. The only messages Yu got from him were group texts, requesting help at Junes or synchronizing TV world outings. Rise, however, texted him nearly every day, and whenever both of their schedules matched up, asked him out or invited herself over. They had fun together. She took him to places in Okina he’d never heard of, like a surprisingly large bookshop a bit out of the main street’s way, or an amazing spicy ramen place that they left splattered in sauce and laughing at each other’s sweaty faces.

Sometimes, they just spent the day playing with Nanako, and Rise surprised him with how good she was at following Nanako’s more childish whimsies. When she caught him looking one time, she told him how much she’d always loved kids. Back at the agency, she’d often spent what little free time she had at the on-site nursery, playing with them. Idols weren’t permitted to get pregnant, of course, but some of the solo artists the agency represented had young children, and she missed them. Nanako started looking forward to Rise’s visits; not only was she a great play partner, she often brought some tofu snacks from Marukyu with her, and one time she even gave Nanako a Detective Loveline toy, earning her his younger cousin’s undying loyalty.

Rise’s presence didn’t heal the hole Yosuke’s absence had left in his heart, but it was a little more distant when she was around. The best thing about her was that she didn’t ask anything from him. All the others, his friends as much as his employers, they all needed something from him; his help, his guidance, his support. But Rise was happy to just spend time with him, and he was more grateful to her for that than he could say. He knew why she was doing this, though, why she’d suddenly started treating him like her best friend, and he felt like he couldn’t keep taking advantage of her kindness. She had no patience for his attempt to tell her as much.

“I’m new here _too_, you know,” she’d said, pointing at him with the spoon from her sundae, at an ice cream parlor in Okina. “And all the people at school, they don’t see Rise when they look at me. They see Ris_ette_. Either they’re fans, or they hate me, but they’re not my _friends_. I mean sure, everyone on the team is kinda my friend, but Chie and Yukiko have each other, Kanji doesn’t really ever want to talk to anybody, Yosuke can’t help seeing me as an idol… I know we’ve been hanging out a lot lately but it’s not just for _your _sake, is what I’m trying to say. It’s been pretty lonely coming home to Inaba.”

After that outburst, Yu didn’t mention it again.

* * *

By the time school started back up, Yu and Rise were spending almost as much time together as he’d spent with Yosuke before. Everyone started jumping to the obvious conclusion, and the rumors over his kissing Yosuke were quickly eclipsed by those over his dating an idol. It turned out that a large part of the school had been interested in dating him, to his surprise—and an even larger in dating Rise, to nobody’s surprise. That they were both presumed taken by each other fueled the gossip mill with more than enough fodder to eclipse one alleged kiss, which only a handful of people had actually seen, and that the majority of the school didn’t seem to believe had even happened. Soon, Rise started holding his hand, rather than his arm, when they walked around the school halls, and her small, soft palm against his was warm and real.

Yu knew it was a foolish game to play. They were both lying to themselves; he could see in Rise’s looks, in her gentle touches, that her feelings for him hadn’t changed, and for his part he knew that no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, she would still never be able to replace Yosuke. He couldn’t bring himself to stop, though.

Then one evening on Marukyu’s doorstep, after a long walk by the riverside, she kissed him and he let it happen. She looked sad when she drew away, and he knew why, but then he was sad, too. Maybe being sad together was a little better than being sad alone. He leaned in to kiss her back and tried to tell himself it was what he wanted. The smile she gave him before she turned to go back inside a few minutes later was shaky, and the tears he couldn’t hold back as he walked home were no surprise. But Yosuke still hadn’t forgiven him, and who would have blamed him for trying to move on? Rise was kind, sweet, beautiful. She wasn’t Yosuke, would never be, but maybe he could learn to live with that.

* * *

After that evening, things changed. Kou asked him about his girlfriend, and he didn’t correct him. Whenever he had some free time, he always checked if Rise was free before asking anyone else. He brought her lunch, carried her bag, and sometimes, took her home to his bedroom. Her smile never reached her eyes, even behind that closed door. Neither did his.

He’d thought that perhaps letting their relationship seem official would finally bring Yosuke back around—s_ee, I’m dating a girl, I’m _normal_, you don’t have to be scared of me_—but on the contrary, Yosuke seemed to grow more and more distant from Yu as time passed. Where he’d usually made time for TV world strategizing, now he always found excuses to get out of it, and Yu had noticed him hanging back in the morning once or twice so that their paths wouldn’t cross as they walked to school. Well, Yu had kissed him, and as if that wasn’t enough, was now dating the idol he’d shown clear interest in. Perhaps it wasn’t so surprising that he wasn’t inclined to forgive him. It hurt, but what didn’t, these days?


	2. Chapter 2

Rescuing Naoto was a bit harder without Yosuke’s help. Yu handled everything himself—purchasing equipment, restocking healing items, synchronizing calendars and planning out attack routes. It wasn’t as though he could skimp on his other engagements, either; all his friends and acquaintances seemed to need him more urgently than ever these days, and on top of that he continued to prioritize Rise when she asked. The only thing that could give was his sleep, and he started seeing dark circles under his eyes for the first time in his life, but it was a small price to pay for Naoto’s safe return.

Anyway, Kanji would probably have beaten the entire team up if they’d failed to save her, so it wasn’t as though he’d had a choice. Kanji’s infatuation with the diminutive detective was heartwarming; everyone agreed that the way he turned completely soft and shy around her was adorable, if a little surprising. Yu had the feeling Naoto would do a lot of good to his team’s dynamics. On top of that, she was very smart, and as a detective would probably excel in investigations. As much as Yu disn’t want to accept that things weren’t going to get better with Yosuke, he wasn’t sure he could get through this alone a second time.

* * *

A short time after Naoto’d recovered, Yu received a text from Yosuke on a sunny Saturday afternoon. He didn’t notice it right away; he was out with Rise, gathering food and blankets for one last picnic by the Samegawa before it got too cold. He was looking forward to listening to her stories about the idols she kept in touch with, petting some stray cats, and maybe even doing a little fishing later on. It was only as they were finally settling down on their blankets that he saw the notification on his phone.

> **Yosuke** Hey, can you come by Junes this afternoon?

His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Yosuke’s name, but as usual, it seemed like it was just a request for help at Junes. It had been over an hour since the message had been sent, so by now he’d probably found someone else to fill in. In any case, Yu was spending the evening with Rise, so he shot back a quick answer.

> **Yu** Sorry, busy today.

* * *

Yu and Rise were still sitting by the river a couple of hours later, finishing the last of their fried tofu and meat skewers, when Yosuke came by. Rise waved to him, and a strange expression seemed to cross his face as he noticed them, but he headed in their direction.

“Hello, Yosuke,” Yu said as he got closer. “I thought you were working today?”

“Why would I—” Yosuke cut himself off with an irritated huff. “No, I wasn’t working. I can’t believe _this_ is what you were busy with. I don’t know why I even bothered to ask,” he snapped, and turning on his heel, stomped away from them.

Yu stared at his retreating back, wide-eyed. That was more emotion than he’d gotten out of Yosuke in months—but why here, why now? He turned to look at Rise, guilt warring with his urge to chase after him.

She looked him in the eye for a breath and then gave a resigned sigh as she took the plate he was holding. “_Go_, Yu. I’ll be here.”

He bit his lip, whispered a remorseful “sorry,” and hurried off.

* * *

Yosuke was halfway down the floodplain when Yu caught up to him. He looked back when Yu called out to him, anger still distorting his features.

“Go back to your _girlfriend_, Yu,” he bit off without slowing down.

“Wait! Wait, just tell me what I…” Yu trailed off as he realised how absurd the question he’d been about to ask was. There were so _many_ things he’d done wrong lately.

Somehow, despite everything, Yosuke still understood exactly what he meant. They’d always been able to finish each others’ thoughts, after all.

“It was 6 months today. Since Saki died,” Yosuke clarified when Yu’s face remained blank. “I know you haven’t gone to see her these last few months, but I dunno, I thought maybe this time you’d come.”

Yu gaped at Yosuke. Of course, it was the fifteenth. How could he have forgotten? They’d gone to see her grave together every month on the day she’d died. Yosuke hadn’t asked him to come since the beginning of summer, and he’d stayed away for his sake, but he should have noticed the date and understood what his request meant.

“I’m so sorry, Yosuke, I didn’t realise. I would have made sure to come.”

Yosuke shook his head, his anger morphing into sadness. “You barely even knew her, and it’s not like we’re really friends anymore. I don’t know what I was expecting.”

Yu’s face fell at those words. “Yosuke, I…”

“It’s ok,” Yosuke said, and so quietly Yu almost wondered if he’d imagined it, added “I just miss you,” before walking away with his head cast down.

Yu felt like he was frozen in place. Yosuke missed him—and he missed Yosuke too, so much, a little more every day that passed, so couldn’t they fix this?—but Yosuke had also said they weren’t friends anymore, and hearing that had felt like someone’d punched the air right out of his chest. By the time he finally managed to get his emotions under control, Yosuke was long out of sight, and Rise was still waiting for him down by the river. He turned back, heavy hearted, and put his poker face back on.

* * *

It took a long night of sitting awake on his futon overthinking by the moonlight, but in the end Yu realised that it didn’t matter if they weren’t friends anymore. Maybe these few months apart had entirely extinguished the friendship they’d built, but that was ok. Yu was willing to start over, to rekindle it by any means. Yosuke missed him, after all. That meant there was _something _there to salvage. He would put in the effort and the time, would rearrange his schedule for him, would do whatever it took to get his best friend back, because the fact was, he couldn’t imagine living a life without Yosuke in it.

It was almost a blessing, really, that in their time apart he and Rise had become… whatever it was that they’d become. It would make his explanation of the kiss as just a weird, freak accident much more believable. If he could make Yosuke accept that, he’d have no reason to be angry anymore. It would have been even better if he could have made _himself _accept it, but he didn’t believe in miracles.

* * *

The only problem with this plan turned out to be Yosuke. Yu tried to get a hold of him, texting and emailing, calling, even attempting to catch him after class or on the way to and from school. However, Yosuke always managed to dodge his attempts. Yu was beginning to grow discouraged; if Yosuke was putting this much effort into staying away from him, maybe he didn’t really miss him all that much. Maybe there _wasn’t_ anything to salvage.

After a week of this, he realised he was going to have to accept that Yosuke just didn’t want to talk to him. He allowed himself one last ditch attempt to get him to talk, cornering him on his way home from a late shift at Junes. He felt a little bad about it; it wouldn’t be as easy here for Yosuke to avoid him without a confrontation. He couldn’t let this end without trying everything he could first, though. Yosuke was unlocking his bike when Yu walked up, hands in his pockets and feeling uncharacteristically fidgety.

“Hello, Yosuke.”

Yosuke looked up from his bike with a sharp glare. “What _is_ it,” he asked, dropping his lock to take an angry step in his direction. “You’ve been straight up stalking me lately.”

“I just want to talk,” Yu replied, backing away and holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “_Please._”

Yosuke squinted at him. “Fine, then. Talk.”

Yu glanced around. He would have preferred to do this somewhere more comfortable, but they were the only ones in the parking lot this late, and he didn’t want to run the risk of Yosuke changing his mind if he waited too long.

“I just want to know what I can do to make things better. If there’s anything I _can_ do. I know I shouldn’t ever have kissed you, and I’m _so_ sorry for that, but I miss you too, Yosuke. Every damn day.”

“You think _that’s_ the problem?” Yosuke asked incredulously. “That you kissed me? I mean yeah, you shouldn’t have, but I woulda gotten over it. Except you never gave me a damn chance to! I figured you’d understand if I needed some time, but it sure didn’t take long for you to replace me with Rise, did it? You never even called or messaged me. It’s not like I was expecting some over the top apology, but not even a text? I don’t even understand _why_ you kissed me if it meant so little to you! Was it just some fun prank to you? ‘Cause I thought you were better than that.”

“What, of course it wasn—wait. _You’re_ the one who didn’t contact me!”

“_Seriously?_ What did you expect? I was terrified. I mean, you saw how I was around Kanji. I didn’t know if you hated me, or what I was supposed to think, or what it would mean about me if I didn’t hate it.” Yosuke pressed his palms over his eyes, which were looking alarmingly bloodshot. “I was waiting for _you_. It’s not like there was anyone else I could talk to about it. I was just… waiting for you to help me figure it out, just like you used to help me with everything else. But you didn’t wait for _me_.” A tear escaped his eye, and he scrubbed at it angrily.

Yu listened to this speech with his heart feeling heavier and heavier. What Yosuke was saying made perfect sense, and he should have realised it at the time. It was his own infatuation that had clouded his judgment. He’d been so hurt over Yosuke’s actions, when really it had only been his expectations that had been out of place. He realised now that he’d expected Yosuke, if not to reciprocate, then at least to not be remotely fazed by his accidental confession. And then he’d blamed everything on _Yosuke_,when in fact it had been him who’d messed everything up.

His attempts to stay calm failed when Yosuke started to cry. He couldn’t keep himself from reaching for him, but he’d barely taken a step forward before Yosuke shoved him back.

“Don’t you _dare_. The Yu I knew would never have cheated on his girlfriend.”

“I was just going to hug you,” Yu protested.

“Oh yeah? And she knows you’re here right now, trying to hug me?”

There was no way to reply to that. No, she didn’t. She would have told him to go, if he’d asked, but he knew how she would have looked at him, with those sad, all-too-understanding eyes that kept him up at night with guilt. And anyway, he didn’t need to ask for her approval. It wasn’t like she was _really_ his girlfriend. They’d never made it official, after all; they just… happened to spend a lot of time together.

“That’s what I thought,” Yosuke said scathingly as Yu stayed silent, and climbed on his bike, riding off without another word.

* * *

Yu didn’t sleep much that night again. He couldn’t stop feeling like it had all actually been his fault this whole time—and of course it had, he’d been the one who’d made things weird with the kiss. It was time he finally started to be the kind of person his friends thought he was, starting with one very overdue conversation. And then maybe, after that, he’d be someone worthy of being Yosuke’s friend again, but that would be for Yosuke to decide.

* * *

The next day, as Yu waited for first period to start, he texted Rise.

> **Yu** Are you free tonight? We need to talk.

Rise replied nearly instantly.

> **Rise** ya i thnk we do 2. im free @ 5, com 2 my place.

* * *

Yu let himself into Marukyu and up the stairs to Rise’s bedroom that evening. He’d been around often enough these last months that Rise’s grandmother was used to him, greeting him with a friendly wave as she helped a customer. He felt a little guilty that she was being so nice to him, when he’d been so unkind to her granddaughter.

“Hello, Rise,” he said as he walked in. He sat on Rise’s chair, this time, and she didn’t ask him to join her on the bed. She was sitting prim and proper on the edge of it, a somber expression on her face.

“Hi, Yu. I’m pretty sure I know where this is going, but… what did you want to talk about?”

Yu hesitated one last time. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along, Rise and him. They had fun on their dates, and she was pleasant to kiss, soft and gentle in his hands. If they hadn’t had a choice, they could have learned to be happy with each other, he was sure. Rise could have accepted that she hadn’t been his first choice, and he could have accepted that she wasn’t Yosuke. But they did have a choice, and this strange situation they’d found themselves in, that had only been meant to make them both happier, was breaking both of their hearts. He needed to do this, no matter how hard it was, no matter the consequences.

“I think this,” he said, gesturing between the two of them, “_thing_ between us needs to end. Not the friendship, but the…” he trailed off, unsure how to word it.

Rise’s face stayed downcast, but she nodded. “The thing that’s not a relationship, and not _not_ a relationship, either.”

“... Yes. I’m sorry, Rise. I knew that I couldn’t be what you wanted, and that you would never turn me down, and I took advantage of that. I haven’t been a very good person these last few months, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t do that.”

Yu raised an eyebrow, confused.

“Don’t act like this is something that just _happened _to me. We both knew what this was, and it was as much my decision as yours. I’m not some fragile doll without any agency of my own. So don’t… apologize.”

“Sor—I mean, alright, I won’t. But I know I’ve made you sad.”

“Hmm…” Rise paused to think. “Yeah. I was sad, because I wanted you to feel the same way about me as I feel about you. But you never lied to me about it. If I wanted you to be somebody you weren’t, then that was my problem, not yours. And you know, even though we never officially dated, you were a model boyfriend. You always put me first, always made sure I was ok with everything we did, always listened to me… I’m not gonna say letting this go on so long was the smartest decision I made this year, but I’m not gonna regret it, either.”

The emotions warring within Yu were strange and confused, he was sad about losing a relationship that, for all that it wasn’t the right one, had still meant a lot to him, and yet at the same time happy that Rise wasn’t mad at him; a little lonely already, and a little more at peace than he’d been in months.

“Thank you, Rise. For being here for me, and for being a great companion. I truly enjoyed our time together, I want you to know that. It was never you that wasn’t enough, it was me.”

Rise shook her head. “No, Yu. You were only yourself, and that’s all anyone can ask of you. We both made mistakes, and we’re gonna have to live with that.”

Yu bowed his head, accepting the truth of what she was saying. Rise’s bubbly, happy personality often led people to think that she was superficial or childish, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth; she was one of the most mature people he knew, for all that she was a year below him.

“Stop making that face, Yu. I mean it when I say I won’t regret it. Before I came to Inaba, every relationship I had was tainted by my idol career. I was never sure if it was the real me they were interested in, or my stage persona, the always-happy, always-smiling girl behind the screen. But you, you let me be myself, my thoughts and dreams and emotions. You listened when I was sad, and you never made me feel like I needed to be some other version of myself.”

They sat in silence for a bit, then Yu asked, “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?”

“I’ll be ok, but I think maybe we shouldn’t hang out just the two of us. Not _forever_ or anything! Just… for now, ok? Sorry…”

“No,” Yu shook his head, “don’t be. I agree with you. Do you want me to tell the team anything?”

“I don’t think so? I’ll tell the girls we decided to stop seeing each other if they ask me, but they never asked if we were together, so I don’t think they’ll say anything even when they figure it out.”

“Then… we’re ok?” Yu asked hesitantly.

“We’re ok,” Rise replied, and though he could see the tears in her eyes Yu said nothing. He wasn’t sure he’d fare any better himself once he made it outside. “Let’s not be awkward around each other, ok? You’re still one of my best friends, and nothing’s gonna change that. Promise?”

“Promise,” Yu said with a decisive nod.

“Oh, and hey, it’s customary to divide up the friends after a break up, right? You can have Chie and Yukiko, but I’m keeping Naoto and Kanji!”

Yu frowned, confused, and she gave him a watery chuckle. “It was a joke, Yu.”

He forced a smile. “Alright, then. Inaba’s densest would-be couple is yours. Good luck with them.” He stood, and she followed him to the door. “I’ll see you around, Rise.”

“See ya, Senpai,” she replied. It was almost as strange to hear that title after weeks of being called Yu as it had been when Yosuke had started calling him Yu instead of Partner.

With one last bow, he saw himself out, pretending not to see the tears rolling down her face as she closed the door. Just because something was the right thing to do, didn’t mean it was an _easy_ thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

There was an awkward moment the next morning when Yu caught Rise’s eye as they walked down a corridor. He hesitated, wondering if he ought to act like he hadn’t seen her, when she took the decision out of his hands by acknowledging him with a small nod and walking past. She’d looked worn down and tired, he realised after she’d walked away. He felt guilty knowing he was why she wasn’t her usual bubbly self. But as the week progressed, her sadness seemed to fade. Heartbreak was still obvious on her face when she looked at him, but he caught glimpses of her with others, laughing over bowls of instant ramen with Chie and Yukiko at lunch one day, or strolling down a hallway arm in arm with Naoto and Kanji another, both blushing furiously while she all but sparkled.

Yu realised something as her smile grew brighter; he’d been approaching his relationships in Inaba all wrong. He’d thought that making friends meant listening to people and being whoever they needed him to be, be that taste-tester, helpful listener or exercise buddy. That was wrong, though. Relationships were a two-way street, and he’d been cheating both himself and his friends of a true bond by not opening up in return when they shared their stories with him.

He tried to change that, starting at home. Instead of passively listening to Nanako or Dojima and answering their uncertainties in the most appropriate way, he shared a little about himself, too. When Nanako told him that her favorite animals were birds and asked what his was, he told her the story of the tiny kitten he’d found in the snow in Tokyo when he was her age, and how his parents had helped him bring it to an animal clinic.

They’d come back to see the cat a few days later, and it had ran across the room to jump on Yu’s lap, purring. Yu had been so awed that the sad, limp little shape he’d brought in could now be so energetic and happy. It had taught him a lesson on resilience and on caring for those weaker than himself, on top of establishing his life-long love of cats. They hadn’t been able to adopt him, unfortunately; Yu’s parents moved around too much for them to keep a housepet. But every time Yu saw a cat outside, he was reminded of that kitten, and of the duty he had to help when he could. That was why he always carried around cat food, why he stopped to pet stray cats even when they looked a little bit dirty. If he could make their lives just a little better, then he’d done something worthy with his day.

Nanako listened to his story wide-eyed, and jumped onto his lap when he finished. “You’re _awesome_,” she said, making him struggle to swallow down a wave of emotion. “Someday, I’m gonna save a baby bird, just like you saved the kitten, Big Bro!”

Yu squeezed her close. Earning Nanako’s admiration was worth the awkwardness of actually talking about himself. He found similar rewards as he opened up to more people in his life, too; Yukiko laughed until she choked when he told her how his first attempt at making curry had turned out so spicy it had made both of his parents cry, and Kanji looked particularly touched when Yu asked if he could teach him how to make a bunny keychain, as a reminder of Yu’s late grandmother whose house had been decorated with all things rabbit.

After a few weeks, Yu finally allowed himself to try to talk to Yosuke. He knew that they weren’t going to go right back to where they’d left off months ago, and he wouldn’t have tried to ask for that. All he wanted was to spend time with him, any time at all. He tried showing up at Junes after school to help out with the evening rush. He suggesting studying together when Yosuke complained about not understanding a lesson. He offered to lend Yosuke his scooter when he mentioned his was in the shop. But every time, Yosuke turned him down, until one day at school, Yu asked if he could bring him a bento the next day.

Yosuke paused, giving Yu a look that was tired, but not angry, before he smiled wryly. “Yes, Yu, you can make me lunch if you insist.”

Yu knew it was a very small victory, but he felt like he was floating on air the rest of the afternoon. He headed straight to Junes after school to get ingredients and made ginger pork with veggies and rice, one of Yosuke’s favorite dishes. He was careful to garnish the bento box with precise care but no overly cutesy details; no heart shaped carrots or teddy-bear shaped rice. The next morning, he checked at least three times before leaving the house, and twice on the walk to school, that he’d packed both boxes in his bag. He knew he had to stay cool and act normal, but he wanted to jump for joy at the thought of getting to spend even just a lunch period with Yosuke again.

The meal was surprisingly uneventful. Yosuke declared his profound appreciation of Yu’s cooking, just as he had before, and they spoke of innocuous things, of video games and of movies they’d seen. One time, Yu accidentally mentioned Rise as he talked about a movie outing, and there was an awkward lull, but then Yosuke asked if he’d liked the main character’s motorcycle, raving over how good it had looked, and the conversation moved on mostly intact. Before they headed back to class, Yu asked Yosuke if he wanted to go watch the latest action movie together that weekend, and when Yosuke accepted, he thought he’d won the lottery.

  


When someone new appeared on the TV that evening, he figured it wouldn’t impact their plans; they needed to wait for things to clear up on the TV before they could act, anyway. Then he received an unsigned letter threatening him if he saved the next person, and everything fell apart.

Dojima dragged him down to the precinct. Against his better instincts, when he questioned him, Yu ended up telling him the full story; TVs, Personas, all of it. A fat lot of good it did him; Dojima didn’t believe a word he’d said. Of course; it sounded ridiculously farfetched, if you hadn’t lived it out yourself.

Things went from bad to worse when Nanako appeared on the small TV in the interrogation room, and neither Dojima nor Adachi would let him out. He banged on the door until his fists grew sore, tears of rage forming in his eyes, and was beginning to contemplate trying to shimmy his way into the tiny screen when he heard a cacophony of familiar voices. There was some sort of a struggle and finally, Yosuke opened the door with a frantic, “Yu!”

“What’s going on?!”

What was going on, it turned out, was that Nanako had _already_ gone missing. Yu felt all the air go out of him when Yosuke told him. They’d always had time before anything happened with the others! It was all his fault—if Dojima hadn’t brought him here because of that letter, they would have been home to protect her. When his uncle ran out the door to try to find her himself, he knew he was being irrational, but all Yu wanted to do was rush after him.

When Adachi locked him and the rest of his friends back in, he wanted to scream, slamming his fists on the table. Yosuke hovered by his side anxiously. If he hadn’t been so afraid for Nanako, he would have been touched to see how worried everyone looked. As it was, he barely noticed their presence, and it was only Yosuke’s careful, fleeting touch on his elbow that kept him grounded and stopped him from screaming himself hoarse.

Luckily, Naoto and the rest of the team showed up soon after. Naoto was as cool-headed as ever, being the one who’d thought to go check on Nanako in the first place, and the calming effect she had on the rest of the team helped them manage to think things through logically. Together, they figured out that it was Namatame, the local deliveryman, who was to blame for the kidnappings, and eventually they convinced Adachi let them all back out.

Less luckily, they only caught up to Dojima in time to see him run right into Namatame’s delivery truck. The crash was the scariest thing Yu had ever seen outside the TV world. If he hadn’t been even more worried over Nanako, he would have broken down at the sight of his uncle laying on the ground, motionless and bleeding.

Later that evening, after Teddie had kept him from making a foolish decision and jumping in Namatame’s TV, they found themselves at the hospital waiting for news of Dojima. A nurse finally came out to let them know that while he was badly hurt, he wasn’t in critical condition, and that they could go in and see him. Yu and Naoto, being the closest to him, went in together.

He looked so pale and fragile lying there against the white sheets in his gown, machines beeping all around him. Yu realised at that moment that part of him had hoped Dojima would be able to fix everything, now that he’d told him. Dojima was so strong, so serious, so reliable, that Yu hadn’t entirely believed there was anything he couldn’t do. As he laid there taking shallow breaths, though, Yu understood that he couldn’t count on anyone else than himself, that there would be no adults coming to save them from this. When his uncle grasped his hand, seeming to finally believe his story, and begged him to save Nanako, it was an easy promise to make.

They exited the room a short time later, shooed away by the earlier nurse. Naoto took charge, explaining that since Dojima was stable and law enforcement were looking out for Namatame, what they all needed to do was go home and rest so they could go find Nanako the next day. Meanwhile, all Yu could do was sag into a chair and rest his head in his hands. He sensed more than he saw Yosuke come to sit next to him. He didn’t speak, didn’t try to draw Yu into a conversation he couldn’t have held just then; only sat there, glancing sideways at him with a comforting expression. Yu appreciated it more than he could have said; he knew Yosuke was nowhere near forgiving him yet, and it made his presence all the more meaningful.

  


Yu managed to make it home somehow that evening; he couldn’t remember having walked there, but at some point he found himself standing in front of the open fridge, realising he’d been blankly staring at the solitary pack of pudding inside it for much too long—_Nanako’s pudding_, his brain provided unhelpfully.

He shook himself and closed the fridge, reaching for a cup of instant noodles instead. It wasn’t what he usually ate, but he didn’t feel up to cooking tonight, but he couldn’t just skip dinner if he wanted to be in top shape to save Nanako the next day.

  


After a surprisingly restful night—regardless of how wretched the empty house made him feel, his exhaustion had been unavoidable—and an excruciatingly slow day at school, Yu found himself sitting at the Junes foodcourt with the rest of his team. Everyone seemed as eager to get in and find Nanako as Yu, and with little further discussion, they decided to head in right away. There hadn’t been time to go shopping for new equipment at Daidara’s, nor to make sure healing items were properly stocked, but there was a little of everything left from when they’d gone in to train a couple of weeks earlier, and Yu didn’t want to delay right now.

  


Despite how beautiful it was, or perhaps _because_ of it, Nanako’s Heaven was worse than the dungeons everyone else’s psyches had created. There was something particularly unsettling about the familiar, grimy masses of Shadows gliding around in sunlit paths rather than dim corridors. Everyone was on edge, and as if that weren’t enough, the Shadows had clearly gotten stronger again. Yu had hoped that they would be linked to Nanako somehow, and as such be weaker, but clearly his theory was wrong. They were having a hard time making any progress at all. Yu swapped out frontline fighters whenever he could tell someone needed a break, but he himself couldn’t take any; he trusted Yosuke enough to take over as leader, but he looked as exhausted as Yu did.

After about 5 grueling floors, Yu could barely even hold himself up anymore, leaning on his sword as he walked. As they took a breather at the foot of the staircase they’d finally managed to find, Yosuke grabbed his shoulder.

“Yu. Do you trust me with battle strategy?”

“What? Of course, you know I do,” Yu replied, confused.

“Then listen to me. We _have_ to stop here.”

Yu drew himself back, livid. “There’s no _way _I’m turning back while she’s still in here!” he shouted. 

“I don’t want to leave her in here either!” Yosuke yelled back, gripping Yu’s shoulders with both hands to keep him in place. He took a deep breath, his next words coming out more softly. “You can barely stand, Yu. And it’s not just you, everyone’s out of energy. We’re starting to take hits from mistakes we shouldn’t be making, and we’re out of healing items… If we fall here, _no one_ can save her. You understand? We’ve got to take a break, Yu.”

Yu struggled against the arms holding him in place, trying to forge ahead, but as tired as Yosuke looked, Yu was worse off, and he couldn’t budge him. When he realised he couldn’t even do that much, he let his sword clatter to the floor and sagged down.

“Hey, dude.” Yosuke kneeled to look him in the eye. “I understand how you feel, we all want her back, but she’s going to be ok. Everyone else was in here at least a week before we rescued them, and they all came out fine. We’re just gonna take a day to rest and make sure we’ve got everything planned out, and then we’ll get her out. Ok?”

Yu looked at Yosuke, knowing he was right, and finally nodded. “Ok. Ok, but we’re coming back as soon as everything’s ready and not a moment later.”

Yosuke extended a hand to him and they pulled each other to their feet.

“Teddie, get us outta here.”

  


Yu forced himself to pick up some fresh groceries at Junes before heading home, and cooked himself a filling dinner. It tasted like ashes, but at least he wouldn’t fail Nanako because he hadn’t been taking care of himself. He didn’t even consider going to bed early, though. Yosuke had said they’d spend the next day planning, which was a good idea no matter how much he hated the thought of sitting still; he didn’t need to be well-rested for that.

Instead, he sat at his desk and wrote out everything he could remember about the Shadows they’d encountered that day and their weaknesses. He sent an email to Rise when he was done, asking her to fill in anything he’d missed, and forwarded the message to Yosuke and Naoto. Then he pulled his coat on and laced up his shoes, and headed to the shopping district to go visit Margaret and Igor.

He returned from his trip to the Velvet Room with the sky already lightening, but it had been worth it; although it had taken a lot of experimenting, he now had a set of Personas that were perfectly suited to the Shadows he could remember. He still had some weaker ones on hand for fusing fodder, too, in case Rise remembered anything he couldn’t handle with his current set-up.

He dragged himself home on sheer willpower alone, stumbling once or twice in exhaustion. He could sleep when Nanako was home safe. Anyway, keeping busy had the advantage of stopping him from thinking too much about Nanako, and how Naoto had said the police had no leads on Namatame. Because if Namatame wasn’t anywhere to be found in the real world, that left only one place he could have gone, and Yu didn’t want to so much as _consider_ the thought of him being in there with her, and of what he might be doing to her.

  


After a few short hours in his futon, Yu woke up to the sun shining in his face. He rubbed at his grainy eyes and made his way to the bathroom, where he took a shower that left him feeling at least halfway more alive, which would have to be good enough for now.

Downstairs, rays of sun made motes of dust dance in the air as he prepared his breakfast and shot Yosuke a text to tell him he’d be waiting at Junes after school. It seemed almost wrong that the sky could be so blue, the colors of autumn so beautiful, when the world was such a wretched place. A place where the sweetest, kindest little girl could be taken away for no good reason at all.

  


Yu spent an hour alone at Junes after class, putting order into his notes and making an inventory of his supply bag, before Yosuke showed up with Teddie in tow, both of them seeming as tired as Yu felt.

“Hey,” he said as he slid into the seat next to Yu, “sorry I’m late. I had to go home to grab our equipment, we’ll have to drop it off at Daidara’s and see if he can make any upgrades.”

“It’s fine,” Yu replied. “Is Teddie here to help us?”

“Ah, Naoto said they still haven’t found Namatame, right? So Teddie’s gonna go in and check if he can find him in the TV world. She gave us his case file, so he should know what to look for.”

“Do you need us to come with you?”

Teddie shook his head. “No, I’ll stay in the backlot. Don’t worry about me!”

Yu watched Teddie run off into the store on his short bear legs, then he and Yosuke got to work. They needed to upgrade Chie and Kanji’s equipment if they were going to have any chance against the Shadows they were coming across, and they had nearly nothing left in terms of bandages and restorative snacks. It was going to eat up most of the budget Yu had managed to save up, but he couldn’t have cared less; there was nothing else he would rather have spent it on.

After drafting out some strategies that ought to keep all weaknesses covered and messaging everyone with their battle plans, Yu and Yosuke headed into the shopping district. Before they split up, Yu to go to Daidara’s and Yosuke to gather supplies around the various shops, Yosuke paused.

“Get some sleep tonight, dude. We need our leader in top shape. We’re gonna get her back, promise.”

  


It wasn’t easy forcing himself into his futon that evening, but everything was as planned out as it could get. He pulled the covers up to his chin, tossing and turning for a while before he decided to put on one of the playlists Yosuke had sent him ages ago. It was one he hadn’t listened to in a while, filled with soft songs full of gentle piano chords and melancholic voices that always reminded him of Yosuke himself. Music filled the too-quiet house, and he finally felt himself start to relax. He was too worried about Nanako for the thought to linger long, but now that they were back in sync, he realised he’d missed working side-by-side with Yosuke, without the tension that had been there over the last months. If only it could have been in a different context.

  


With their new equipment and their carefully planned strategy, the rest of Heaven was, if not a breeze, at least doable without wearing everyone down to the wire. They finally made it to a large gate, and Rise warned them that Namatame and Nanako were on the the other side. Yu stood there for long enough, staring at the doors, that Kanji came up to stand by him.

“Senpai, don’t open it. We need a break ‘fore we go in there.”

Yu turned back towards him. “I wasn’t going to. But knowing she’s right there…” he trailed off, clenching his fists.

Kanji put a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, I know whatcha mean.”

Yu looked around at all the tight faces looking at him, and not for the first time, he realised they were are eager to get her back as he was. A ball of warmth formed in his chest, not replacing the dark pit of Nanako’s absence, but coexisting alongside it. He stepped back towards the others, motioning for them to get closer.

“We’re going to stop here for today. I want all of you to go right home, eat a good dinner, and get a long night’s sleep, ok? Tomorrow, we’re going in.”

They all gave a loud cheer of agreement that rung out in the otherwise-silent space.

“And… thank you. All of you. I know you gave everything you had to get us here this fast. I’m in your debt.”

They all waved away his gratitude, but Yu saw the pride on their faces and smiled. Nanako was going to be home really soon, and everything would be ok. He allowed himself to take a deep, calming breath before Teddie’s Traesto flowed over him. It was all going to be ok.

  


The fight against Namatame was nightmarish. He wasn’t all that strong, but he had a particularly nasty attack that turned people’s allegiances over to him. The psychological aspect of being slammed across the face by your own teammate was taking a heavy toll on everybody. At last, Yu figured out that they could destroy the strange wheels that seemed to be the source of the mind control, but as Namatame kept creating new ones, he had to focus all his energy on them. It was the first time Yu wished his team could have been just a bit weaker; they all had their hands full whenever they were free of the mind control just healing each other and breaking the control wheels, so that they could only rarely attack Namatame himself. It was very slow going.

The worst part of the fight was when Yu missed his attack on the control wheel above Yosuke’s head, and could only watch as Yosuke turned to him with pleading eyes while he reached up with trembling arms and swiped viciously at Yu’s face. It was physically painful—Yosuke was strong, and particularly deft with his weapons—but even more so emotionally, being attacked by his hand. It seemed worse when it was him than with the others. Chie kicked the wheel hard right as Yosuke’s hands dropped back down, and Yosuke didn’t waste a second before healing him, the wounds fading away as they both turned back to attack Namatame again.

They were all running on fumes by the time Namatame finally dropped Nanako into Yu’s outstretched arms. She looked worn out, barely able to string together a sentence. Yu tried to remind himself that it wasn’t a bad sign; all the others had been completely exhausted after their battles, too. He still remembered Kanji carrying Naoto out of the Secret Lab across his back.

Cradling Nanako to his chest, he stood. Yosuke and Kanji were restraining Namatame, now returned to his normal form, although he didn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight.

“It’s over,” Yu said, and with a collective sigh of relief, they headed home.

  


Once outside the TV, Naoto called Adachi to send someone to collect Namatame, while Yu called an ambulance for Nanako. He rode with her while the others followed in a bus. It was nerve-wracking waiting for the doctor to come back out of Nanako’s room. When he did at last, he seemed frazzled.

“Well, she’s stable, and it doesn’t look like there’s signs of anything else than exhaustion and dehydration, but she’s having trouble breathing for some reason. Would you kids have any idea what might be have caused that?”

No one else had had any trouble breathing… but Nanako was so much smaller, so much more fragile. Had the TV world’s fog done this to her? It wasn’t as though Yu could explain it to the doctor either way, so he shook his head.

“That’s too bad, it might have helped. Well, for now we’ll keep her here under observation, but we have good hope for a full recovery. I believe her father is also being held here?”

“Yes. His name is Dojima Ryotaro.”

The doctor turned back into the room. “Nurse, can you please go inform the patient about his daughter’s state?”

A young man holding an armful of clipboards hurried out of the room with a harried “Yes sir!” while the doctor turned back towards Yu.

“I’ll let you in to see her, since you’re family, but the rest of you should get home for now. It’s late, and you all look like you need rest almost as much as she does.”

Yu and Dojima were only in the room for ten or fifteen minutes before a nurse kicked them back out. Before he returned to his room at the nurse’s heavy insistance, Dojima grabbed Yu and pulled him into an awkward sort of hug.

“Thank you, Yu. You saved her. You all did. I owe you my life.”

It was somewhat surreal seeing Dojima so overwhelmed with emotions, and Yu was almost glad when a nurse wheeled him away down the corridor. He wasn’t entirely surprised to find Yosuke and Teddie still waiting for him in the plastic chairs by the room, standing to join him as soon as Dojima left.

“How does she look?!” Teddie asked anxiously, bouncing on his heels to try to see into the room.

“She’s very tired, but not hurt otherwise. We just need to let her rest until she wakes up.”

The three of them headed out of the hospital and back to the bus stop. They rode in silence, all too tired to say much, until Yu’s stop came up.

“You gonna be ok to get home?” Yosuke asked.

“I’ll be fine,” Yu replied with a weary smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school. Good night”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Good night, then!”

“Bye, Sensei!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (experimenting with switching the double spaces for scene breaks rather than lines... if for some reason you have an opinion on it feel free to share it ;) and any comments on the fic itself are always appreciated and motivating! :) )


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the subs, hope you enjoy this chapter :) This is the chapter where I realised "damn it, canon events are gonna make this fic WAY longer than I'd planned" ;)

Nanako’s recovery progressed slower than Yu would have liked. While she laid in that hospital bed, rarely waking up for longer than a few minutes at a time, the city filled with fog. The sun that had woken him up that first day after entering Nanako’s Heaven was nowhere to be seen anymore. It was all grey, all the time, like the day itself couldn’t quite drag itself out of bed.

Despite this, he managed to find some joy in the time he spent with his friends, and most particularly with Yosuke. Fighting side by side to free Nanako had gone a long way towards breaking down the wall that had built up between them.

  


“I never got a chance to say it, but thanks for all your help with Nanako’s rescue,” Yu told Yosuke one afternoon as they sat at the strange cafe in Okina, warming up after spending an hour at the arcade They’d been discussing the TV world, and how strange it was that the Shadows inside it seemed to grow stronger every time they met new ones. “I don’t know how I would have done it without you.”

“Huh? Oh… Don’t thank me, dude. I’m, um,” Yosuke hedged as he scratched at the back of his neck, a pink flush spreading across his nose, “I’m sorry I made you do everything on your own for Naoto’s Lab. It was really childish of me to let my jealousy get in the way of saving someone’s life.”

_Jealousy?_ He couldn’t mean… no, of course not. “I was as much at fault as you were, please don’t blame yourself.”

Yosuke still looked embarrassed. “I’m just glad we got Nanako back safe and sound. Anyway, it was a team effort!”

Yu smiled at him across the table. “I’m very grateful to everybody. But without your help planning everything, and forcing me to stop, I would have endangered us all. I wasn’t in my right mind.” Yu let his expression grow more serious. “I couldn’t have saved her without you.”

Yosuke’s blush seemed to intensify. “Oh, come on. You’re our leader. You would have gotten through it. I just helped.”

Yu wanted to insist, but Yosuke’s reddened cheeks brought out the freckles that dusted them, and he found he’d entirely forgotten what he meant to say by the time he found his voice again.

  


Yu was distracted, between hospital visits and catching up on his studies, so he didn’t notice the pattern until Yosuke and Teddie came for dinner about a week later.

“I’ve had a lot of company for dinner lately,” he told Yosuke with a suspicious squint as they stood in the kitchen, Yosuke rinsing rice while Yu finished the curry he’d started earlier.

“Uh, haha, what are you talking about? We just randomly decided to come over!”

“Mm, _randomly_. Just like Kanji and Naoto decided to _randomly_ bring some extra homemade soba yesterday, and Chie and Yukiko also _randomly_ dropped by the day before that. And the day before _that_, I believe you brought Aiya’s.”

“Ah…” Yosuke chuckled awkwardly, “...you got me. When Teddie and I realised you’d been home alone this whole time, we had to do something…”

Yu couldn’t stop an exceedingly fond smile from worming its way onto his face. He quickly turned back towards his curry, hoping Yosuke hadn’t seen it.

“Thanks, Yosuke. I appreciate it. But maybe next time, don’t tell Chie and Yukiko? The stew they brought was… well. It ate a hole in the trash can,” he said, pointing to the evidence.

“Oh, _no_,” Yosuke said with a gasp. “I am _so_ sorry, dude. How can I make it up to you?!”

“Maybe convince them I don’t need company anymore? Yukiko said something about a cake recipe she wanted to ‘improve on’...” Yu shuddered. “Oh, actually, that reminds me. We have leftovers from Kanji and Naoto’s visit for dessert.”

“_Really?!_” Yosuke exclaimed. “What did they make?”

“Strawberry _fraisier_,” Yu said, laughing at the way Yosuke’s expression lit up as he raced over to the fridge.

“Oh, _man_ that looks amazing! I can’t believe you didn’t finish it.”

“Well, I had a suspicion I wouldn’t be eating dinner alone tonight, and I didn’t have time to make curry _and_ dessert…”

“This was supposed to be about cheering you up, but you’re the one catering to _us_,” Yosuke frowned. “I feel bad.”

“No, don’t. I’m glad you and Teddie told everyone to visit. It really has been pretty lonely being all alone here.”

Yosuke gave him a strange look; a little like pity, but unexpectedly soft. Before Yu could decipher it, the rice cooker beeped, startling them both.

“Time to eat, I guess!” Yosuke said a little too quickly, like he was trying to cover something up. “Come set the table, Teddie!” 

Before long, they were devouring the curry in front of a rerun of Featherman R. Yosuke and Teddie were taking turns shouting out the heroes’ lines while Yu looked on, amused; it seemed they must have watched the series often back at the Hanamura’s. He hadn’t thought too much about it—after all, Teddie had joined them in the real world only a short time before their falling out—but Yosuke and Teddie really seemed to treat each other like brothers. Despite the way Yosuke snapped at the bear whenever he made a mistake, and how Teddie took every opportunity to needle him, when it came down to it, they seemed to watch out for each other. It was very different from his relationship with Nanako, but he was glad they were there for each other in their own way.

  


While the team waited for Nanako to recover, they took some time to breathe. It seemed like they had finally, truly solved the case. There was something about the resolution of the case that kept nagging at Yu just a bit—something that seemed like it wasn’t quite right—but he tried to put it out of his mind, figuring it was just leftover anxiety, and focused on spending time with his friends. He, Teddie, Yosuke and Kanji spent a cold Sunday at the beach taking pictures and drinking hot chocolate, Yukiko taught him about the tea ceremony in exchange for his help with her cooking, and he got a fun, if exhausting, workout in with Chie, Kou and Daisuke.

After another long week, Nanako’s recovery had finally progressed to the point where the nurses were considering letting her come home. The whole team gathered at Junes the day before her expected return to plan out a homecoming party. They were discussing snacks and decorations when Yu suddenly remembered something.

“Oh! I need to get a new kotatsu!”

“For the party?”

“No, I mean, for Nanako in general. Ours wasn’t working when we took it out for the winter, and we were supposed to go get a new one together, but then she…”

Yosuke, sitting next to him, gave him a worried glance as he trailed off. “Well then, let’s go pick one out right now! I think we’re having a sale, so it’s perfect timing. Let’s go!”

Yu knew his enthusiasm was meant to distract him from Nanako’s kidnapping, but he was grateful for it all the same. Anyway, Nanako was ok, and she was going to be home very soon. There was no point fretting over what had happened now. He stood to follow Yosuke and the group, already picturing everyone gathered around the new kotatsu, with Nanako in his lap and delicious foods spread across the table. They were halfway across the food court when his phone rang in his pocket.

“Yu speaking?”

“Hey, Yu, it’s Adachi.”

“Oh, hello. Do you have a message from my uncle?”

“No, it’s… I want you to stay calm and listen to me, ok?”

  


Yu didn’t even stop to think until he was at the bus stop, anxiously checking for the next bus. About a minute later, he heard loud footsteps behind him, and Yosuke appeared, heaving for breath.

“Dude, what happened! You ran off without saying anything!”

“It’s Nanako. She—she got worse,” Yu managed to say, still craning his head to see if the bus was coming.

“Worse?! What are we waiting for, then? I’ll call a taxi!”

He had his phone open to call when the bus suddenly arrived, just as the rest of the team caught up to them. Yu spent the entire ride staring out the window, trying not to imagine the worst. She’d been about to come home. She was supposed to be doing better. What could have happened? And why wasn’t this bus going any _faster_?!

When the bus finally arrived, they all hurried to Nanako’s room, joined by Dojima. She laid on the bed hooked up to machines all around, sweat drops rolling down her pale face as it twisted up with pain. The doctor _still_ didn’t seem to know what was wrong. For the first time since he’d first acquired his Persona, Yu found himself absolutely helpless. Nanako was right here, fading away before his very eyes, and there was absolutely nothing he could do. He wanted to scream, may well have done so if he hadn’t worried it would bother her even more. 

The doctor eventually kicked them all out of the room, leaving them to wait in the hallway seats while Dojima was returned to his own room. Yu was trying desperately to convince himself that everything was going to be fine when Adachi showed up, and let slip the fact that Namatame was unlikely to be found guilty of anything in court, what with the supernatural aspect of the accusations being brought against him. For all Yu’s misgivings about the resolution of the case, he couldn’t keep himself from jumping to his feet. _He_ was the reason Nanako was in that hospital bed right now. Yu had just taken a step towards Adachi, planning to force him to… well, he wasn’t sure what, really, when a nurse came hurrying out of Nanako’s room.

“Is Nanako-chan’s family here?!”

Yu rushed in to Nanako’s room, but all he could do was hold her hand and watch her heart rate grow inexorably weaker on the monitor while she asked feebly for her dad and tried to focus on his face.

“Your dad’s on his way, just hold on, ok?! You’ve got to be strong, Nanako,” he pleaded.

There was no way this was happening—no way Nanako could…

The flat beeping of the monitor was like a physical blow, sending him stumbling to his knees at Nanako’s bedside. It was impossible. Unthinkable. His thoughts went hazy, frantic. She’d been in the TV world less than three days, she hadn’t even fought her Shadow, everyone else had been fine when they’d saved them so she was fine, she would be fine she _had to be fine_, soon the doctor would smack the monitor and complain about crappy old equipment and Nanako would blink open her eyes and smile at him and call him Big Bro again and he’d walk out of here and everyone would be waiting, laughing in relief, but she wasn’t moving and the doctor wasn’t saying anything and Dojima was here and he was crumpling to the floor and Nanako still wasn’t breathing still wasn’t breathing still wasn’t—

There was some sort of high pitched ringing in his ears, a blur on the edges of his vision; he barely registered the rest of the team running in, Yosuke’s shout, Chie’s tears. All he could see was Nanako’s pale face, and all he could feel was her hand growing colder in his, and all he could hear was the endless beep of her stopped heart.

At some point he was pulled away from her bed, guided outside the room; he wasn’t sure by who, still unable, unwilling, to focus on anything. Rise’s shout was what finally broke through the buzzing inside his head.

“Dojima-san might have gone after Namatame!”

How could Dojima have gone after Namatame in his current condition? Unless…

“Adachi-san said he was admitted to this hospital!”

Kanji’s threats did little to convince Adachi to give up Namatame’s room number—of all the times for him to develop a conscience about his job, it was really not the right one—until Kanji pointed out that Dojima might have been headed there with a dark purpose in mind, at which point Adachi finally gave up the information.

A short sprint through the hallways later, they found Dojima wheezing on the floor, being helped away by the policemen who’d been guarding Namatame’s door. Dojima’s state was particularly distressing, but there was more important at stake just then, and there was only so much Yu could worry about at once, so he shoved the feelings into a corner of his mind for later. A loud bang came from Namatame’s room a few seconds later, their cue to barge in.

Their conversation with Namatame went… strangely. Yu wanted so much to blame him for the jagged pain of Nanako’s death, wanted to hurt him as badly he’d been hurt, but… the story didn’t add up. Namatame kept denying he’d hurt her, saying that he’d only ever wanted to save her, talking about his _mission_. Yu was trying to make sense of it despite his grief-addled brain, but the rest of the team’s emotions were rapidly growing heated, their shouts disrupting his through process. Chie and Yosuke were yelling at each other, and suddenly Yosuke turned to him.

“What do _you _want to do?!” he shouted like an accusation.

“There’s something we’re missing,” Yu replied, still failing to understand what exactly had happened, but Yosuke wouldn’t let up, wouldn’t stop pushing him, until at last he snapped.

“Calm the hell down!”

Everyone jumped, and in the wake of his words there was silence in the room, only broken by Namatame’s groaning. After a few deep breaths, everyone seemed calmer, apologizing to one another for losing their cool. Naoto seemed to be of the same opinion as Yu that they were clearly missing a key part of the story, and though Yosuke still looked angry about it, he agreed that they needed to question Namatame before they did anything. Yu felt cold as he realised they’d nearly taken justice into their own hands and killed a potentially innocent man in their rage. 

Moments later, a doctor rushed into the room, and it was only Naoto’s quick thinking that kept them from getting into trouble. Still, it was probably best to leave any further attempts to question Namatame until later, judging by his quivering form on the floor.

As they all filed out of the room, Yosuke asked, “Where’s Teddie?”

Yu looked around. He hadn’t noticed until now, but it was true; Teddie was nowhere to be seen, and now that he thought about it he hadn’t heard him in a while. Not since Nanako—_no, don’t think about it_—not since they’d gone to find Namatame. Worried comments from the others corroborated this, and they decided to head outside so Yosuke could call him.

He called and texted, even trying the home phone, but Teddie was unreachable. He finally said that the bear was probably on his way back home with a carefree air that his strained expression completely contradicted. Yu gave him a nod and took a deep breath, feeling the snowy air’s chill deep inside himself.

“Why don’t we call it a day?” They turned worried faces at him, and he did his best to remain stoic despite them. “Thanks for everything. I’m going to be fine, I promise.”

He wasn’t sure if that was a promise he could keep, but it was the promise they needed to hear just now. Reluctantly, they all walked away, glancing back at him over their shoulders; Kanji and Naoto bowed before they departed, and Rise had tears in her eyes. He managed to keep from breaking down until the last of them had turned the corner. Then he let his head drop back onto his shoulders, eyes stinging as he stared up at the snowflakes swirling around him.

An unbidden memory of Nanako’s voice echoed in his head.

_When it snows, you and me are gonna make a snowman, ok?_

But now there would be no snowman, no kotatsu, no party. Just a quiet house haunted by memories.

Footsteps in the snow interrupted his thoughts. When he looked down, he saw Yosuke standing before him with an expression more tender and sympathetic than he’d ever seen on him. Somehow, that was what finally broke him, and through eyes blurry with tears, he asked shakily, “Please tell me, when I put a stop to things in his room… did I make the right call?”

Yosuke silently stepped closer to stand by his side. Yu hadn’t been expecting an answer, anyway. Whatever happened to Namatame, whether it was truly his fault or not, whether he walked free or not… none of that would bring back Nanako.

“Nanako… I’m sorry!” He let out a guttural sob, unable to care who heard it. Yosuke shifted a bit closer to him, and he let himself fall onto his shoulder, weeping in earnest now as Yosuke’s arms came around his back to hold him.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he stayed there before he managed to lift his head back up.

“It’s late,” he managed to whisper in a hoarse voice. “You should go home and check on Teddie.”

Yosuke removed his hands from his back, taking a step back, and wouldn’t make eye contact as he replied hesitantly, “...come home with me.”

“Huh?”

“Come home with me,” he repeated a little more firmly. “Don’t—you shouldn’t—just… please?”

It took Yu a moment to understand why Yosuke was insisting. All that awaited him at his house were the aborted leftovers of a homecoming party that would never be; Nanako’s favorite foods in the fridge, her jacket on the coat hooks, her little shoes by the front door where he’d left them this whole time as if their presence would bring their owner home faster.

He nodded gratefully at Yosuke, feeling his eyes growing wet again, and followed him home.

  


He woke up later than he usually did the next day to the smell of a hot breakfast. There was a heartbeat, before everything came back to him, where all was just bright daylight reflecting off a snowy backyard, and Yosuke looking at him so softly from the doorway, holding a tray of food. Then he remembered, and the world turned dark and grey again.

“Here,” Yosuke said, gently placing the tray on his lap.

Yu felt his stomach twist in rebellion and tried to push the food away, but Yosuke stopped him with a hand.

“You need to eat,” he insisted.

Yu made an effort, choking down the soup and half the rice before Yosuke let him get up. He let Yosuke guide him to the bathroom, where after a short shower, he changed into a borrowed shirt, tugging back on his school pants from the previous day, and then followed Yosuke to the hospital. There were no thoughts in his mind, not even sadness, only a great, all-consuming emptiness.

On the bus ride, Yosuke kept trying to call somebody on his phone. Finally, he flipped it shut and stuffed it into his pocket.

“Where _is_ that bear?” he muttered.

A thought floated through Yu’s mind. That was right, Teddie hadn’t been home when they’d reached the Hanamuras’ last night. Apparently he wasn’t answering his phone, either. At another time, that would have been alarming, but even that much emotion seemed beyond him now.

  


They found the rest of the team already gathered when they reached the hospital. Yu looked at them, trying to string together the words he knew they needed to hear—_I’m alright, don’t worry, it’s going to be ok, I’m fine_—but only managing a weak nod. Thankfully, Naoto took charge. She guided them to Namatame’s room, using her position as a law enforcement professional to convince the guards to let them in, and started questioning the man.

Inside, Namatame seemed much more stable than he had the night before. He willingly gave them his side of the story, explaining everything, from his affair and subsequent firing, to his discovery of the TV world, to his theory that the TV world was a safe place where the would-be victims could be kept safe.

Yosuke remained by Yu’s side the whole time, so Yu was able to see how he jolted when Namatame talked about how he’d tried to save Saki, tried to convince her to be careful. Yu reached out to brush at his arm, a careful touch, and Yosuke smiled at him gratefully.

It quickly became clear that Namatame was unlikely to be the true culprit. Yes, he’d placed people inside TVs, but he’d done so thinking he was saving them, and his alibi for the first two murders had already been fully proven. What sealed it was his complete confusion over the warning letters; he didn’t seem like the kind to be that good of an actor. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind; Namatame’s involvement was clear, but he wasn’t the murderer. There was yet another person involved in all this.

Yu was distantly glad to find out he’d made the right choice the night prior. It didn’t much change how little he cared what happened after this, though. Namatame, or someone else, what did it matter when Nanako was lying still under a sheet right now, never to wake again?

In the end, they stayed in the room with Namatame a good hour. They were subdued as they headed back down towards reception in silence. Yu wondered if he ought to visit his uncle before going home, or if he should leave alone. He felt guilty, but he wasn’t sure he could handle seeing the grief he felt reflected on someone else’s face just now. He was still trying to make up his mind when a nurse intercepted them. “You! Come quick!” she exclaimed.

Yu stared at her. What could be so urgent now? Had something happened to his uncle, this time? The world couldn’t be so cruel, could it… Yosuke tugged him by the wrist as the others chased after the nurse, and he broke into a run to catch up to them.

  


For the second time in less than 24 hours, Yu stood shock-still in front of Nanako’s bed, unable to fathom the events that had just occurred. His cousin, his little sister, laid in the bed much as they’d left her the night before, but… her heart was beating again. Her cheeks were rosy, her chest rising and falling, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks when a door slammed down the hall.

To the side, the doctor was explaining to Dojima that sometimes people did wake up after their hearts had stopped beating, although after so long it was nothing short of a miracle. They would have to wait until she woke up to know how much damage the lack of oxygen had caused, but the fact that she was breathing on her own was a good sign.

Yu didn’t care. She was _alive_, which was already so much more than he could possibly have hoped for. He took a few hesitant steps, coming to stand by Dojima’s side.

“Uncle,” he breathed, not knowing what more to say.

Dojima turned to him with a smile, grunting as he lost his balance. Yu caught him, pulling him back to his feet, but Dojima sagged in his arms, half crying and half laughing, and Yu couldn’t help but join him, the world finally coming back into full color. Nanako wasn’t gone. The murderer was still on the loose, Dojima’s injuries had probably reopened again, but _Nanako wasn’t gone_.

  


When they headed home from the hospital that evening, Yosuke followed Yu without saying a word. Yu didn’t realise it until they’d walked halfway to his house, and by that point it seemed silly to ask about it; it was rather obvious what Yosuke was doing, after all.

It was the first time Yosuke had been to his home since summer vacation, but they fell into their old routines without a word, Yosuke hanging his coat up and kicking his shoes off, then turning one of the dining chairs around and leaning his arms on its backrest while Yu rummaged around in the fridge, emerging with a can of TaP for Yosuke and a Second Maid for himself.

“So, got any good leftovers, or should I call Aiya’s?” Yosuke asked after taking a long drink.

“No leftovers, but I can cook if you want to wait.”

“Of course I’ll wait, are you kidding?”

“Alright,” Yu replied with a smile. “You can cut the carrots, then.”

  


By unspoken agreement, they didn’t speak about what had happened that day, or the day before. There would be plenty of time later to run over the inconsistencies of the case, identify where they’d been overconfident and gone wrong, consider potential suspects. For now, they spoke of annoying teachers, of video games, of big city adventures and of ski trips. Tomorrow, they would go back to investigating a supernatural murder case, but tonight, they were just two teenagers at a sleepover, and nothing more.

After dinner had been eaten, TV watched, and video games played, once both of them were losing the fight to keep their eyelids open, Yu stood with a spine-popping stretch and went to the hallway closet at the top of the stairs.

“Hey, come help me carry these,” he called out as he struggled to hold the guest futon, pillow and a blanket.

Yosuke came upstairs yawning, his confused expression turning hesitant when he saw what Yu was holding. It took Yu’s brain a minute to place the expression, tired as he was after the long day; when he finally did, he felt like an absolute fool. Just because Yosuke was being his usual supportive self and had come over to keep him company didn’t mean he wanted to sleep in the same house as he did. They had barely gotten back to being friends, and already Yu was overstepping his bounds.

“I mean, uh…” Yu awkwardly pushed the futon back into the closet, “um, it’s… getting late. You probably need to be getting home? I already took up so much of your time. I, uh, I’m sorry for assuming…”

Yosuke frowned at his clumsy excuses.

“This timid thing isn’t a good look on you, dude,” he said with an exasperated shake of his head. “I was just thinking I should warn my parents if I’m not coming home, they’re already so worried about Teddie. But it’s pretty late and I don’t want to wake them up…”

“Oh. Oh!” Relief flooded Yu. “Well, I’m sure your parents would have called to check on you before going to bed?”

“Hm, good point. Ok, lemme call and get permission.”

Yu’s good reputation around town had the rather positive side-effect of making him a favorite with his friends’ parents, which meant they usually approved any plans including him, and a short call later, the pile of bedding was pulled back out of the closet.

“So,” Yu hesitated, “I know you’re probably not too keen on it, but I’m sure Dojima wouldn’t mind if you slept in his room just for one night. Nanako’s room isn’t very big, and the living room gets really cold at night…”

Yosuke raised an eyebrow at him. “Why can’t I just sleep in your room? It’s more than big enough, we’ve done it before.”

“You’re not—you don’t mind?” Yu asked, startled. Sure, he and Yosuke were on good terms again, but that didn’t cancel out what he’d done. After how Yosuke had reacted on the camping trip, he definitely hadn’t expected him to be willing to share his room.

Yosuke’s confused expression slid into what looked like guilt, for some reason. “Of course I don’t. I’m not _afraid_ of you, Yu.”

Yu slept easily that night. This was the first time since they’d started talking again that they’d been able to spend time together without the specter of Nanako’s safety hanging over their head, and it had felt so natural, as if nothing had ever been wrong between them in the first place. Listening to Yosuke’s soft breaths, he fell asleep to the remarkable thought that maybe he really _would_ get his best friend back.


	5. Chapter 5

The air was cold outside of Aiya’s, cold enough to worm in past his thick coat and under his scarf. He’d come out here in Naoto’s company to clear his mind after an overwhelming bowl of rice and beef, followed closely by Yosuke. The rest of the team was waiting back inside. They’d spent at least an hour going through Namatame’s confession for hints and getting nowhere, everyone speaking over each other and rehashing theories they’d already proven wrong again and again.

It was quieter out here. Yu could hear himself think, and this time when Naoto asked if they had could think of anyone would fit the few clues they had—someone who wouldn’t have looked suspicious spending time alone with Mayumi Yanamo or Saki Konishi, nor hand-delivering a letter to the Dojima’s mailbox—a name came to mind.

_Adachi_.

He was part of the local police force, and though public sentiment had gone a little sour after they’d taken months to catch the presumed murder suspect, back in the beginning of this whole affair anyone would have opened the door for him. No one would have even thought twice about leaving him alone with a teenager or a local celebrity. His presence around the house definitely wouldn’t have aroused any suspicion, either, since he was over every week or two for dinner. It made perfect sense; and yet at the same time, it made absolutely no sense. Yu _knew_ Adachi. He was kind of an idiot, definitely a slacker when it came to work, but he wasn’t a _murderer_.

He’d always seemed kind of like Dojima’s adoptive younger brother, almost a part of the family in his own right. He’d played games with Nanako, had helped to carry Dojima into bed after one too many beers, had spent a few evenings chatting with Yu around town. And he’d been so shocked, too, when he’d found out Nanako was in the hospital. His grief had seemed so sincere when she’d died. How could this be the same man who had killed 2 people in cold blood, the same person who’d written a letter threatening Yu’s family if he saved anyone else? Threatening Nanako and Dojima—the only two people he’d seemed to like in the entire town.

Yu turned the facts every possible way, trying to find another explanation, but in the end, he had to face the truth: Adachi was the most likely suspect. No, worse; Adachi was the _only_ suspect. There weren’t many people who came by the Dojima home outside of Yu’s own friends; definitely none of those who did would have had any reason to be in contact with Ms. Yamano. He didn’t want to believe it, but…

“Adachi Tohru.”

  


Things fell into place like puzzle pieces slotting together after that. Adachi had been the one in charge of Ms. Yamano’s protection at the time of the scandal, and he’d questioned Saki when she’d discovered the body. He’d had the means, and though Yu was loath to admit it, the motive as well; Yu knew too well from their conversations how bored and trapped Adachi had felt. Bored enough to bother some women. But bored enough to kill them…?

In no time, they were packed onto the bus for the hospital. Kanji’s rage was barely restrained as usual, and Naoto was taking notes with a focused look while everyone else shook with impatience. Things were going so fast again. Yu didn’t want to jump to conclusions, not after they’d come so close to making an unforgivable mistake with Namatame, but there couldn’t be any harm in talking to Adachi, could there? Maybe he’d be insulted that they would even think to blame him, would have perfectly valid alibis for both situations. Yu hoped so. He hoped so very, very much.

  


Adachi did not have any alibis. His mounting anger at their questioning was suspicious enough; when he disappeared from all security footage after entering a room with a large TV inside of it, there was little question left of his guilt. The conversation they had with him a couple of days later in the TV, before he hid himself away into a hellscape of his own design, wiped away all possible doubt.

The only bright spot in the entire affair was Teddie’s return. Yosuke’s worry had been obvious every time they’d talked about him, and though he was sure his friend would have denied it on pain of death, Yu saw tears in his eyes when Teddie bounced up to their table at Junes, acting like he’d never been gone.

Yosuke’s tears of joy were replaced by tears of rage when Adachi callously described how he’d shoved Saki through the interrogation room’s TV for refusing his advances. Yu stood by his friend’s side, desperately wanting to reach out and hug him. He would have done anything to ease the heartrending pain that distorted Yosuke’s features. He knew better than to show so much weakness in front of Adachi as to touch him, though, so instead he settled for making a promise to himself; that he would avenge Saki, avenge Yosuke’s pain and make sure Adachi could never hurt him again. 

  


He’d promised. He’d promised to himself that he would deal with Adachi, had promised Yosuke and Rise and everyone else that he wouldn’t go in alone. Adachi was, without a hint of a doubt, guilty. So why, _why_, was he still standing here awake rather than asleep in his futon? It was late, and he would need his energy for the next day when they started fighting their way to Adachi…

But he just couldn’t let it go. Adachi had been his friend, had almost been _family_. Nanako had even accidentally called him Uncle once. Even after his crazed speech earlier that day, even despite the awful things he’d said about his two victims, Yu couldn’t help but hold out hope that there was something left inside him worth saving. He owed it to… well, he wasn’t sure; to Adachi, or maybe to himself. He had to give him one more chance. One more shot at redeeming himself. 

  


Adachi laughed in his face, and still Yu held on to hope. He kept hoping even as Adachi shot past him, nicking his ear and shattering the window behind him. In the end, it was the look on Adachi’s face as he told him to leave that convinced him. There was contempt, annoyance, anger there… but not so much as a shred of remorse. That was when Yu realised that even though Adachi had been distressed by Nanako’s death, it hadn’t been a sign that he was redeemable. He had only cared because she had mattered to him personally. If it had been any other little seven-year old girl, he wouldn’t have so much as hesitated. Would have shoved her into the TV himself and laughed.

Yu dragged himself back to the entrance feeling ill. He’d so completely misjudged Adachi. What if he hadn’t missed with that shot? How would the team have taken it if Yu had shown up the next morning on an antenna somewhere in town? Would they even have been able to take on Adachi without the wildcard power he’d been entrusted with? He’d gambled so much on naive instinct.

He was still ruminating over his foolishness as he stepped back into Junes, barely bothering to check if any customers were around this late.

“Welcome back.”

The familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he nearly stumbled right back into the TV before a strong hand caught him.

“Yosuke?”

“I told you not to go alone,” Yosuke said, dropping his arm. “Though I knew you would anyway…”

Yu cringed at the look of sheer disappointment on Yosuke’s face.

“It’s okay, I understand. I’ll keep it a secret from the others, and I won’t ask about Adachi for now. But, come on… you should trust us more.”

He seemed sad, like Yu had let him down somehow.

“I—I do trust you!” Yu exclaimed.

But… did he? If he trusted Yosuke, and Rise, and everyone else on the team, why hadn’t he told them that he wanted to give Adachi a chance? He hadn’t even considered it, truthfully. To ask Yosuke for forgiveness for Saki’s murderer… And yet, Yosuke had known he would be here, but he hadn’t come to stop him, only to wait for his return. It wasn’t Yosuke’s fault that Yu hadn’t trusted him. That was all on Yu.

There was nothing left to talk about regarding Adachi; he’d shown Yu his true colors, and Yu wasn’t going to endanger the operation any further by refusing to accept them. But now that he thought about it, there was another thing he hadn’t been honest about, and its specter kept hovering between him and Yosuke like an invisible wall.

“I really do trust you,” he repeated, “but maybe I haven’t done a very good job of showing it. If you have time, there is one thing I’d like to talk to you about. Not… here, though.”

Yosuke cleared his throat. “'Attention customers, it is now closing time,” he said in his announcer’s voice. “Please visit us again tomorrow.” Then, throwing an arm around Yu’s shoulders, “Let’s go to your place. And, uh… I’m glad you’re safe, yeah?”

  


Yu settled in at the brand new kotatsu he’d bought the day before while he waited for Yosuke to use the restroom. Nanako and Dojima were still at the hospital, of course, so it wasn’t as though there was any reason to go upstairs, and what he wanted to talk about felt like it would have been inappropriate to bring up in such an intimate setting as his bedroom.

Yosuke returned a moment later, but rather than sitting opposite Yu, he squinted at his face and came closer, kneeling right by him. When Yu turned to give him a questioning look, he grabbed his chin and turned his face to the side, leaning in so close Yu could feel his hot breath against his skin.

“Yosuke?” he managed to get out, feeling his face growing quite warm.

“You’re bleeding.”

Yosuke’s voice was low and calm, but there was a restrained anger in it that made Yu want to back away. Only that careful hand on his jaw kept him sitting where he was.

“What did he do to you?”

Yu considered lying. He knew how angry Yosuke was going to be. But that was the whole point of Yosuke’s presence tonight, wasn’t it? To stop the lies, and learn to trust again.

“He shot at me,” Yu said, “ but I think he missed on purpose.”

“On _purpo_—” Yu felt Yosuke’s hand tremble before he caught himself and took a deep breath. “Yu. Do you really think Adachi’s aim is good enough to have nicked your ear and not hit you _on purpose?_”

Yu stared down at his hands where they were folded in his lap. It wasn’t that he disagreed with Yosuke, but… it hurt in a way he hadn’t realised was possible, being so thoroughly betrayed. It made him want to question every friendship he’d made, to examine every acquaintance in the critical lens of broken trust. So he’d tried to convince himself. That Adachi hadn’t accidentally _missed_, that it had only been a warning shot and not an attempt at point-blank murder by someone he’d trusted.

“What if he’d—” Yosuke sounded choked up, cutting himself off with what sounded suspiciously like a sob.

Yu couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran through him at the sound of so much pain in his voice, and Yosuke didn’t finish his sentence, only sighing heavily. He reached up with his free hand to carefully brush Yu’s hair away from his ear, his fingers lingering against his scalp. Yu wondered if it was possible to faint just from someone touching your face.

“First aid supplies are still under the bathroom sink?”

Yu gave a small nod, not trusting himself to speak.

“Right, then. Don’t move.”

Yosuke stroked his cheek gently before finally letting go of his jaw, the action so unexpected that Yu didn’t realise he was completely frozen in place until Yosuke had returned with the first aid kit and a damp towel.

“I didn’t literally mean don’t move,” Yosuke said with a huff of laughter as he sank back to his knees. “Let me see your ear.”

Yu obliged, trying his best to control the fiery inferno that was his face as Yosuke delicately cleaned his ear and neck, then bandaged the cut. Not even the sting of the antiseptic was enough to distract him, unfortunately. Surprisingly, when Yosuke was done, Yu turned to thank him and realised he was just as flushed as he himself felt. Maybe the kotatsu was turned up too high?

They stared at each other, mere inches separating them, for a beat too long, and Yu thought he saw something flashing in Yosuke’s eyes, but—

“So!” Yosuke jumped to his feet, sliding into the opposite side of the table so quickly he nearly slipped. “What did you want to talk about?!”

Yu replaced one awkward silence for another as he remembered why he’d invited Yosuke over in the first place. Focusing intently on a scratch in the table top, he tried to keep his voice steady. “It’s about… last summer, and Rise. I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Yu,” Yosuke replied hesitantly.

“I think you _deserve_ one, then, if you’d rather,” Yu countered. “I don’t want to hide anything from you anymore. But if you don’t want to hear about it, that’s fine.”

“No, I… I do. Please.”

Yu thought for a moment. “Hmm. I kind of don’t know where to start,” he sighed.

“Well, maybe you could start with why you, um, kissed me,” Yosuke suggested without meeting his eyes.

Yu winced. “Right, that. I kissed you because, honestly, I’d been dreaming of doing it for months and for one stupid moment when you came running towards me, I forgot that I wasn’t in a dream. I swear, I never meant for you to find out about my crush. I knew how uncomfortable it would make you.”

“I—it wasn—I mean,” Yosuke’s bright blush was unmistakable, making Yu wonder if he should end the discussion there, but he soldiered on, “why Rise, then?”

“She… she was a mistake. She confronted me about how I was moping around after you stopped talking to me—”

“I’m sorry!” Yosuke interjected.

“No, don’t be. You were right when you said you needed time, and I should have given it to you. I was too hurt to see past my own feelings.”

“Yeah, no,” Yosuke replied. “I’m not letting you take all the blame for that one. I should have gotten over myself and talked to you about it. It wasn’t cool of me to leave you in the dark like that.”

Yu gave him a bemused smile. “Anyway, I told her about how I was sure I’d ruined our friendship, how I thought you hated me… And Rise, you know her. She can’t stand to see someone sad. She kept making plans with me so I wouldn’t be alone. It was nice hanging out with her; we didn’t talk about her problems or mine, just enjoyed ourselves. When I was with her, I could almost forget how much I missed you for a few hours.”

Yosuke blushed even brighter at those words. Yu wanted to find it cute, but that was what had landed him in this whole mess in the first place, so he tried his best to ignore it.

“Then one thing led to another, and… Well, you know. We knew we were deceiving ourselves, but I think we were both too weak to end it. At least I was. I figured even if I wasn’t happy, at least she seemed to be. It wasn’t until you yelled at me that I realised I was making her just as sad as myself. Because every time I looked at her, all I could think was, _if only she could have been you._”

Yosuke had been looking down at the table the whole time Yu’d been speaking, but at that he lifted his head. “Wait, does that mean you still…?”

Yu nodded. “...I hope that’s ok. I know you don’t, and I promise I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, but, I’d rather not lie to you about it.”

Yosuke rubbed at the back of his neck. “Yeah… yeah, no, it’s fine. I’m… it’s flattering.”

Now they were both blushing and staring hard enough at the table to burn a hole in it. Yosuke cleared his throat loudly. “I noticed you two haven’t been spending much time together anymore? Are you guys… ok?”

“Mhm, I ended things after I realised I was hurting her. She thought it was a good idea too, but we both agreed we needed some time apart. To… relearn to be just friends, and not whatever we’d become.”

They sat a moment longer in silence.

“Well, that’s kind of everything. I know I acted like an idiot, but I hope you understand I never meant to push you away,” Yu finally sighed.

Yosuke nodded. “Thanks for telling me. I’m not gonna lie and say now it’s all magically better or anything, but… well, you know, at one point I kinda wondered if you’d done it on a dare. Like, ‘let’s make Yosuke freak out in public, it’ll be _so funny_.’ I kinda felt like I didn’t know you anymore. You weren’t supposed to be one of _those_ people.”

“No!” Yu said, horrified. “That wasn’t it at all!”

“I know,” Yosuke said with a hint of a smile. “I kinda started figuring it out after our talk by the riverbank, but… now I know for sure. So, thanks.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I promise, I’ll trust you more from now on.”

“Me _and _the others,” Yosuke corrected. “You can trust all of us. We’re a team, and no one’s going to abandon you. Even if you wanna try to talk sense into a murderer. I’m not gonna say I _understand_ it, but we trust you, too. If you wanted to talk to him, then you must have had a good reason and we would have been there for you.”

Yu opened his mouth to apologize again, but Yosuke stood and stretched. “It’s getting kind of late, isn’t it? I should go home and let you get some sleep. We’ve got to start planning for Adachi tomorrow.”

Yu followed him to the door, and when they said their goodbyes, both their smiles were more genuine than they’d been in a long time.

  


Magatsu Inaba was a struggle, even with Yosuke’s bond back to its full strength. They dragged themselves through the twisted world with a troubling slowness, but despite Yu’s worries, they managed to reach the end after a long week and a half. Adachi went down surprisingly easily. Ameno Sagiri, much less so. Still, they triumphed in the end, returning broken and battered but jubilant to a fog-free Inaba.

Yu was hesitant to say that the case was finally over. They’d thought so wrongly a few too many times in the past couple of months for him to be complacent about it, and with the appearance of an actual god, he was beginning to think that maybe they had no real idea what was going on. But regardless, it was at least _a_ victory, and one more than worth celebrating. Under a clear blue sky, he realised just how much he’d missed the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments! <3 One more chapter and an epilogue after this :)


	6. Chapter 6

On New Year’s, Yu was surprised to receive an invitation to return to the shrine. The team had gone as a group the previous evening, but he’d been expecting his second visit to be spent alone, as Nanako and Dojima, though they were home for the week, were in no shape to spend the morning in the cold yet, and he hardly had a date to accompany him.

> **Yosuke** lets go 2 the shrine 2gethr if ur free

Yu agreed immediately, of course. Their rekindled friendship was still too new for him to take it for granted, and in any case it wasn’t as though there was anyone Yu would rather have gone with. He quickly pulled together a warm outfit and hurried out the door. Spending time with Yosuke sounded like the perfect way to start the year.

  


Yu arrived at the shrine to find Yosuke had beaten him there and was jumping from foot to foot while rubbing his face into his gloves to warm them up. As usual, he hadn’t covered up his neck, and his coat seemed much too light for the weather. Yu’s coat buttoned up high, so he slid his scarf off and draped it over Yosuke’s shoulders as a greeting.

“Happy New Year, Yosuke.”

“Yu! Happy New Year, bro!” He pulled at the scarf. “Don’t you need that?”

“You seemed cold,” Yu said by way of explanation, and headed into the shrine. Yosuke followed, wrapping the scarf around his neck with no further objections as he hurried up the stairs.

“So, no kimono for you?” Yosuke asked.

“Not this year. Do guys dress up much here? Where I was from in the city, it was pretty rare.”

Yosuke shrugged. “Not most, but I saw a few this morning. I bet Kanji will be wearing some sorta formal wear when he comes by with his mom. And Teddie begged my mom until she got him a cheap kimono at Junes.”

“Oh! Where _is _Teddie, actually?”

“He’ll be coming later with my parents. Figured it’d be nice having some quiet time just the two of us…”

Teddie _could _be quite… rambunctious. As much as Yu loved him, he had to admit he appreciated the quiet peace of the snowy shrine right now. Yu laughed softly, figuring Yosuke must have had to endure a _lot_ of loud excitement from the bear over the holidays.

“You’re probably right. What about you, Teddie didn’t convince you to buy a kimono too?”

“Eh, you know me. Not a big traditional kinda guy. Wouldn’t suit me.”

“I dunno, I think it’d look really good on you,” Yu replied absentmindedly. Yosuke’s awkward cough, and the redness of his cheeks that seemed to be more than the weather warranted, made him aware of what he’d just said. That was definitely past the friendly boundary. “I mean, um, just, if you wanted to, I’m sure you wouldn’t look any weirder than Kanji or anyone else! But if you don’t want to then that’s fine too. Um. You know.”

“If you say so,” Yosuke replied, still blushing. “Anyway, same as you, I didn’t grow up wearing one back in the city.”

“I never said I didn’t wear one,” Yu replied, trying to forget the mental image of Yosuke all dressed up. “My parents made me. But mine’s back in Tokyo, and I’m pretty sure I outgrew it this past year. I was going to buy a matching set for me and Nanako for Christmas, but…”

“Oh… Well, there’s always next year, right!” Yosuke replied with a bit more cheer than was necessary, the way he always did when Nanako’s time in the hospital was brought up. “Now let’s go make our wishes, yeah?”

There was no line at the offertory box—in fact, there was only one other couple wandering around the shrine. It was quite early and cold, so perhaps that wasn’t so surprising, but to Yu, who was used to big city festivals with dozens of people lined up, it was beautifully calm. Yu and Yosuke tossed their offerings in before bowing and clapping their hands.

“So, what’d you wish for?” Yosuke asked as they stepped back.

Yu’s wish had been very easy to choose. “For my friends and family to stay safe and healthy all year.”

Yosuke gave him a lopsided smile. “Heh, so did I, basically.” He looked down, kicking at some snow. “You know, last year I would have thought that was a really lame wish. I think I wished to be popular at my new school back then, to get a cute girlfriend, maybe for my dad to pay me better at work too… but those things really don’t matter at all, do they? I’d trade everything good that happened this year if it meant Saki could have lived. Even if she really did hate me as much as her Shadow said.”

“I know what you mean,” Yu replied, subdued as he remembered a flatlining monitor in a hospital room.

After a contemplative moment, Yosuke patted his shoulder enthusiastically. “Ok, that’s enough moping around! Let’s go draw our first fortunes of the year!”

Yu followed. He thought about Nanako and his uncle as he drew, hoping to pull out a good fortune for them, but he couldn’t stop a thought about Yosuke from worming its way in, too. It wasn’t that he had any hope or expectation that things would change between them, but shrine fortunes had never hurt anybody, right?

“Medium Luck,” he read out. “Well, that’s not so bad. What did you get?”

Yosuke startled from where he’d been staring at his paper. “Um, Great Luck! Well, I guess it’s about time my luck started turning around, isn’t it?” he laughed.

“What were you thinking about when you drew it?”

“Mm, nothing in particular,” Yosuke replied, but he looked shifty in that way Yu knew meant he was lying.

Yu was tempted to press him—it was customary to draw fortunes with specific people in mind, and he was quite curious who had Yosuke looking like that—but he remembered quickly why Yosuke might not have wanted to discuss that with him. Ignoring the slight pain he felt at that, Yu decided to change the subject.

“Were you going to meet your parents after this?”

“Nah, they just want me home for dinner, so we can hang out until then. Oh, that reminds me, actually—are you busy tomorrow night?”

“No…?”

“Do you wanna come have dinner with my family? You don’t have to if you don’t wanna! I know family dinners are like, so awkward. It’s just, my mom insisted I invite you, since Dojima-san and Nanako will be back in the hospital by then, right? I dunno how she found that out, the gossip network here is ridiculous. Anyway, she said it’s not right for anyone to be alone on the holidays…”

“I’d love that,” Yu replied, cutting off Yosuke’s rambling with a smile.

  


The next day, Yu had a great morning with Nanako and his uncle before they had to return to the hospital. They made a snowman all together, and had hot coffee with cookies to warm up afterwards. There was only one uncomfortable moment, shortly before the taxi to take them back arrived as Yu was leaning back against the couch with Nanako in his arms, his eyes shut.

“Big bro?”

“Yes, Nanako?”

“Why didn’t Rise come over this week? I miss her…”

Yu’s eyes flew open, and he didn’t miss the too-knowledgeable look his uncle gave him over his cup of coffee. “Um, she… was really busy helping her grandma in the tofu shop! Lots of people buy tofu for the holidays. But I’m sure she missed you too!”

Nanako’s delighted smile was worth the small lie. “Oh, yay! I hope I can see her next time I come home!”

  


Later that evening, before heading to the Hanamuras’ for dinner, Yu called a number he hadn’t dialed in a long while, hoping his request would be well-received.

“Hello, Rise.”

“Yu? Is something wrong?”

Well, that wasn’t a great start. “No, nothing… well, just a _small _thing. Nanako said she missed you over the break. I know you’re not comfortable coming over to my house anymore, but do you think you could go visit her while she’s in the hospital?”

“Oh my _gosh_ I will _absolutely _go visit her!” Rise exclaimed. “Poor Nanako! I had no idea. Aww, she missed me, though! She’s _such_ a sweetheart!”

Yu smiled. Rise was still the same kind girl she’d always been; of course she wouldn’t hold their personal history against Nanako. “Thank you, Rise.”

“Of course. And, you know… we’re good, yeah? You don’t have to be so careful around me. Maybe I can come by for dinner sometime when Nanako’s back home for good.”

“...I’d like that,” Yu replied, feeling warm. He was so lucky to have come out of this whole year with both Rise and Yosuke still willing to call themselves his friends.

  


Dinner at the Hanamuras’ was a very noisy, agitated, wonderful affair. It was as far removed from Yu’s usual quiet, composed holiday dinners with his family as it was possible to get. Even Nanako’s excitement hadn’t gone much further than exclaiming over a particularly tasty piece of sushi in the assortment Dojima had brought home. Here, it was all laughter and jokes, as much from the older Hanamuras as the younger—Yu had always thought Yosuke’s dad was a very serious man, but clearly his personality at home was nothing like at work.

They were having ramen, but he kept sneaking the best bits from his bowl, his nori and pieces of pork, into his wife’s bowl when she wasn’t looking. When she’d scold him for it, he’d put on the most ridiculous falsely-innocent look Yu had ever seen, saying that she really must have been getting old if she didn’t even remember what she’d eaten already, or praising the magical ramen gods for blessing their home with bowls that refilled themselves.

Meanwhile, Teddie and Yosuke could barely keep their mouths closed around their noodles while they discussed theories about the episode of Featherman R they’d just seen at such high speeds Yu could barely keep up. As strange as it was, Yu felt comfortable in the midst of this controlled madness. He even joined in at one point, slipping half an egg into Mrs. Hanamura’s ramen while her husband distracted her. The older man’s conspiratorial wink afterwards gave them away, and Yosuke’s absolute shock at seeing Yu taking part in his dad’s jokes was something Yu would never forget.

After dinner, Yosuke brought Yu up to his room while Teddie watched TV with his parents.

“So, uh, I know it’s kinda late, but I got you a Christmas present.”

“Oh! Yosuke, you shouldn’t have.”

Yosuke rolled his eyes. “You’re supposed to say ‘thank you,’ dude.”

“I—thank you, but really, you didn’t need to get me anything.”

“Well, too bad,” Yosuke said, grabbing a small package from underneath his bed and shoving it into his hands.

Yu opened it carefully. Inside was a packet of gold-leafed origami paper with cats printed on it, from a brand Yu knew to be on the more expensive end.

“Yosuke, this is beautiful. Where did you find it?”

“I was walking around Okina when I saw it in a stationery store window… it made me think of you.”

Yosuke could have given a random wrapper out of a trash can with that sort of justification and Yu would have treasured it. He pictured Yosuke walking down the street and stopping to enter a shop just because he’d thought of him, and found that he liked that image very much.

“Thank you,” Yu repeated, smiling perhaps a little too warmly for some origami paper. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

“Ah, it’s fine,” Yosuke waved his hands around. “You’re letting Teddie stay with you again now that Nanako and Dojima-san are gone, right?”

Yu nodded; they’d discussed it over dinner, and Yosuke’s parents had approved the plan.

“Dude, that’s a gift worth all the origami paper in the world. Maybe I’ll actually manage to listen to my new albums uninterrupted for once.”

Teddie chose that time to bounce back into the room, exclaiming that talking about people behind their backs was “bear-y rude, Yosuke!” and they spent the rest of the evening chatting and playing together.

  


Teddie arrived bright and early the next morning, dropped off by Mr. Hanamura on his way to work. He had his backpack and sleeping bag in hand, ready to spend the next couple of weeks living with Yu. Yu was grateful for Teddie inviting himself over; the house truly felt quite empty without its usual occupants, and Teddie was very good at filling up silences. However, that morning, he found that Teddie’s voice was giving him a serious headache. 

He decided to go upstairs to have a rest, leaving Teddie to watch TV alone, but when he stood his head spun and he saw spots in his corners of his vision. This was odd; he’d had a good breakfast that morning, he didn’t feel particularly thirsty either, or anything else that should make him feel faint… He reached for a wall to stabilize himself, but before he could, everything went black. He barely heard Teddie’s worried shout before he fell to the floor, unconscious.

  


Yu awoke in his bed some indeterminate amount of time later. It didn’t feel like it had been very long, but he had faint memories of being woken up to drink and half-carried to the bathroom often enough that it must have been at least a day, if not longer. Now that he thought about it, who’d been the one carrying him? There was no way Teddie was strong enough for that. He tried to sit up.

“Whoa! Hey, hey, stay there,” Yosuke’s voice said, and now Yu saw that he’d been sitting quietly on the couch, surrounded by textbooks. “How are you feeling?”

Yu thought it over, and answered with an articulate, “Erghhhh…”

Yosuke chuckled. “Yeah, that’s what I figured. You seem more conscious than before though, so hopefully that means the worst is finally over! Are you hungry?”

Yu nodded frantically, suddenly aware of it. “Thirsty, too,” he croaked.

“Gimme a minute, I’ll go get you some soup, okay?”

  


After he’d devoured the bowl of soup—he’d begged for more, but Yosuke had told him he’d make himself sick eating too much at once and refused to bring any—Yu managed to sit up on his bed, feeling positively disgusting.

“How long was I out?”

“You’ve been sick almost a week,” Yosuke said. “You had us pretty concerned! We had a doctor come and see you, but he said with the stress, it was no surprise you’d gotten sick, and that you probably just needed a lot of rest.”

Yu bowed in apology. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Hey, don’t apologize. I’m just glad to see you looking better!”

“Mm. I think… I need a shower.”

Yosuke only looked away, which confirmed to Yu that he not only felt gross, but definitely smelled so, too. Poor Yosuke, being stuck with his increasingly stinky self over the past few days. Although, now that he thought about it…

“Have you been staying with me this whole time?”

“Uhhh, heh, not the _whole_ time?” Yosuke replied with a shifty air. “Teddie called me after you collapsed, and he’d put you under the _kotatsu_. With how much you were already burning up! I made him go home, but Naoto and Yukiko also came by when I had to go to work.

“...Thank you,” Yu said with unfeigned appreciation, unable to meet Yosuke’s eyes. “Well, I guess I’m gonna go shower, then. I’m feeling better, so you can go home if you’d like.”

“Actually, I was thinking maybe you could help me with the break homework?” Yosuke asked hopefully.

That explained the improbable smattering of textbooks on his couch. Well, it wasn’t as though Yu had had much time over the last few days to get his done, either. “Sure. I’ll be back soon.”

  


Over the next couple of weeks, Yu and Yosuke spent most of their free time together. Yu wasn’t sure when exactly he and Yosuke had gone back from friends to best friends, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. They went to the movies, played games late into the night, had sleepovers, hung around Okina doing absolutely nothing productive for an entire Sunday, and one evening, even went to the hot springs together. It took everything Yu had to keep his eyes off of Yosuke’s body—his amazing, lithe, fit, beautiful, perfect body, his traitorous brain provided—and he went by the shrine that evening to drop an offering in thanks for it being the kind of onsen that allowed towels in the water. He was pretty sure he would have outright combusted otherwise.

It hadn’t slipped Yu’s notice that despite their rekindled friendship, Yosuke never called him partner anymore. It was always dude, bro, man, or just his first name. Yu tried not to think about it too much. He couldn’t blame Yosuke for not using that term anymore; it was a pretty charged word, with a connotation that had often made people smirk back when they used it. That Yosuke didn’t feel comfortable with it anymore after Yu’s confession was hardly a surprise.

While Yu missed the nickname, he didn’t mind Yosuke not returning his feelings. His hadn’t faded by a whit—in fact, he would have said that he was a long ways past a simple crush at this point—but they felt… comfortable. Last spring, his crush had felt like a secret that needed to get out, as if he’d been choking on it, gasping for air from the keeping of it. Now, Yosuke knew, and Yosuke was ok with it, and that had a value of its own. Yu could spend all his free time with his best friend, whom he loved in as many platonic ways as romantic, without the urge to confess tainting his every action.

They didn’t _talk_ about it, of course. It would have been rude. Rude for Yosuke, to make Yu talk about a love he knew was unrequited; rude for Yu, to make Yosuke justify the feelings he didn’t feel. But it wasn’t a secret; it was just two friends, looking out for each other, and that was okay.

There were times when Yu wondered, though. There was that day at school when Yosuke blushed as he caught Yu’s eye in the gym showers, and if Yu hadn’t known better he would have sworn he’d been looking lower a second before. There was the late night horror movie during which Yosuke had jumped and hid his face in Yu’s shoulder, and then had left it snuggled there for the rest of the movie, only turning the tiniest bit to look at the screen. There were the repeated instances of Yu looking up, at lunch or at Junes or at his house, to find Yosuke’s eyes flitting away from his with a guilty expression.

But every time, Yu forced himself not to read too much into it. Yosuke had made his feelings clear, and Yu was happy to respect them. In truth, he was probably the one seeing something where there was nothing; gym showers were always a bit embarrassing, and the couch in his bedroom wasn’t very big, so it made sense that Yosuke had to be close to him to sit on it. Even so, he couldn’t help replaying the scenes as he laid in bed waiting to fall asleep, imagining them going just a little further every time, just a little sweeter.

  


It was nearing the end of January when Yosuke dropped onto Yu’s desk after the final bell rang, sitting half atop the classwork he hadn’t yet put away. There was an electric feel to him, like there was too much energy riding beneath his skin, and if anyone got too close they might get zapped.

“So, you’re free tonight, right?” he told a Yu struggling to tug his papers out from underneath his butt.

“Yeah, you already asked me that yesterday _and_ Monday,” Yu replied.

“Cool. Good. Great, that’s great.”

Yu paused in his paper-freeing efforts to look at Yosuke. He was babbling, which was definitely not natural. He didn’t usually do that unless he was stressed about something, like when he was trying to handle 4 or 5 part-timers at Junes and do his own job at the same time. Yu found it adorable hearing him all tongue-tied as he gave them all instructions, but that was neither here nor there.

“What did you want to do?”

“Uh, I was thinking we could just, you know, walk around! If… that’s okay?”

That was interesting. Yosuke hadn’t confirmed he’d be free tonight three times in a row just to hang out around town. Yu was curious, but he knew how to be patient. He could wait this out until Yosuke told him what was going on.

“Sure, that sounds great. Let me pack up my stuff and we can be on our way,” Yu replied with a meaningful tug on the paper that was still trapped.

“Oh!” Yosuke bounced off the table with startling alacrity, blushing much more than the situation called for. There was definitely something going on.

  


After an hour of walking up and down the shopping district, Yu was getting cold, and Yosuke’s jumpiness was starting to get on his nerves.

“I should start heading home pretty soon, I have to make dinner for Nanako,” he said, hoping it would prompt Yosuke to action.

Luckily, his gamble worked—he would have been quite annoyed if Yosuke had just let him head home with no resolution. He started walking towards the flood plain with a resolution that was at odds with his prior aimlessly wandering.

“You’ve still got some time though, yeah?” Yosuke asked. “The light’s so nice, I was thinking it might be a good day to go up the hill and get some pictures of Inaba.

Yu would have bet his best TV sword that Yosuke had planned to head up there regardless of the meteorological conditions, but he wasn’t wrong; the golden, slanted light was beginning to give the world a bit of an ethereal quality. In any case, he wasn’t about to turn Yosuke down when he was on the cusp of finding out why he’d been so fidgety all afternoon.

They made their way up the winding path from the gazebo to the lookout in silence, Yu admiring the way the late winter sun lit up the increasingly broad views of the city, and when Yosuke wasn’t paying attention, the way it turned Yosuke’s hair the color of molten caramel. At the top, Yosuke guided them to the fence that edged off the viewing area, leaning on it and looking out. Yu joined him, putting a hand over his eyes to keep from being blinded while the other rested on the fence.

“I hated this place when I first came to Inaba.”

Yu turned to look at Yosuke, but he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the horizon.

“You can tell how small the town is from up here. But looking at it now… it’s a nice town.” There was a melancholic smile on Yosuke’s face. Yu wondered if he was supposed to reply, but it seemed like Yosuke had practiced these lines, not planning for a response.

“If I could go back to when I just moved here, I’d tell myself what’s important… isn’t where you are.”

Yu tilted his head in a question. Yosuke looked over at him with a soft smile before turning back to the view.

“This town I hated so much? Now, I love it. There’s still nothing here, but I have family and friends… and you.”

Yu tried to control his suddenly frenzied heart. He could have written a novel over that long, portentous pause, an entire dissertation on its meaning. That explicit separation of friends and of him—what did that mean? What _could_ that mean other than what Yu desperately wanted it to mean? Were friends and best friends such distinct categories?

He realised Yosuke was speaking again and forced himself to breathe, to listen, that perhaps he might make things clear.

“I always wanted to be ‘special.’ I thought that if I could be special—with my Persona, with a girl, at school—then maybe my life would finally have meaning. I ran after it everywhere I went. But that was pretty foolish, wasn’t it? Just being born, living your life… before you know it, you’re already special to someone. Like…”

Yu watched Yosuke take a deep breath, like he was about to jump off a diving board. “Like you, partner. You’re special to me, you know?”

Yu gaped at Yosuke. No, he truly was doing his best not to read too much into Yosuke’s words, but there was no way that had been…

Yosuke hesitantly raised his hand, and before Yu’s alarmed eyes, ever so carefully placed it over Yu’s own where it still laid on the fence.

Yu couldn’t keep a soft, shocked, “Yosuke…?” from escaping his lips.

Yosuke turned to face him, not moving his hand, and gave the barest hint of a nod.

“Oh. OH. OH MY GOD,” Yu yelled, so loud it echoed. He couldn’t even spare the mental energy to feel embarrassed over his reaction, his mind simultaneously bluescreening and going haywire. “_For real?!_”

Yosuke’s serious expression cracked into a smile as he nodded again, more flagrantly this time.

“Mhmm.”

Yu felt tears pool in his eyes and threw his arms around Yosuke before he could start crying, crushing him close. “Oh my god,” he repeated multiple times through his tearful smile, unable to stop himself, while Yosuke started outright laughing. It was the most beautiful, perfect, wonderful sound Yu had ever heard, even though he’d heard Yosuke laugh plenty of times before. This one was just _different_, and he didn’t care that it was probably (definitely, absolutely) a question of perception.

“I was kind of afraid that maybe you’d moved on,” Yosuke said a bit breathlessly as his laughter died down. “I mean, it’s been so long. I kept trying to drop hints these last few weeks, but you weren’t picking up any of it. I guess I shouldn’t have worried, though!”

Yu sobered up, pulling back enough to look Yosuke in the eye, though not so much that he had to let go of him. “No, never. It’s always been you. How could it ever be anyone else?”

Yosuke sucked in a breath, making Yu wonder if he’d been a bit too heavy-handed, but after all he’d said nothing but the honest truth. They stared at each other for a long minute, trembling. Yu had always known how beautiful Yosuke’s eyes were, but to be allowed to look into them uninterrupted like this made him feel as though he was drowning. He was so enraptured by them that he didn’t notice at first how Yosuke was drawing closer, his eyes focused a little lower on his face…

Yu jumped back when he figured out what Yosuke was about to do. “Wait no not now! I had that garlic ramen at lunch! And I didn’t get a chance to brush my teeth and my lips are chapped and—”

Yosuke’s soft finger on his lips had the dual effect of shutting him up and setting his entire face on fire. He panted softly, mouth still open a crack, and his breath steamed between them. Yosuke was smiling at him fondly.

“This isn’t our first kiss, partner. It’s just… one of many. So,” he leaned in again and breathed against Yu’s lips, “please don’t be afraid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo! That completes the story! The epilogue will just be pure fluff because I mean, I literally wrote only one single kiss in this entire fic and that's *a problem*  
Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3!  
Come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://thermopylod.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/thermopylod) :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I've had this chapter written for over two months, but I was really unsure that it was any good, so I kind of abandoned it... until I suddenly decided to edit and post it in the last few days. Merry Christmas, I guess ;) I'm still not sure I like it much but well, at least it's done, and now the story is complete at last! Thank you all for all your feedback, comments and kudos on this story <3

February had felt like a slice of heaven, the taste of Yu like ambrosia on his lips, but all good things had to come to an end. So it was that Yosuke found himself running alongside his friends in a little train station unused to such fervent goodbyes. When the train finally went too far for even its taillights to be distinguishable in the distance, he slowly walked back, and sat on the solitary bench on the platform, right underneath the great clock. The others crowded around him to cheer him up, but he only gave them absent smiles when they tried to suggest one activity or another to occupy the rest of his day.

He knew they meant well, trying to distract him, but Yosuke found that he wasn’t quite ready to go home and get on with his life yet. He was… sad, of course, but that was a given. That was fine; it would have been much more worrying if he _hadn’t _been sad. That wasn’t why he wanted to sit here a while longer.

Yu would come to visit for Golden Week in just a few short months, and maybe Yosuke would get to go see him before that, so this wasn’t some permanent goodbye, but his departure still felt like the end of a chapter, if not of the whole story. That feeling, of endings and new beginnings, had Yosuke feeling uncharacteristically introspective as he watched clouds flow across the sky.

He wasn’t the same person who’d ridden into this very station a year and some months ago anymore. He knew he had a few months left before he could call himself an adult, but sometimes it surprised him how much he’d grown over so short a time. He felt like he knew who he was, these days, in a way he never truly had before—back when he’d only been going through the motions, letting magazines and TV tell him what he liked and disliked, what his dreams were. Somehow, in the process of saving the world, he wondered if maybe he hadn’t saved himself, too.

  


The others were long gone by the time he finally picked up the wrapped package that sat next to him; even Teddie had headed home after giving him an uncharacteristically gentle hug and a pat on the head that had made him laugh.

“_From Yu_,” the elaborately handwritten tag read. Yu. Everything had revolved around him this past year, of course. It was almost strange to imagine life in Inaba moving on without him, so completely had he permeated every layer of the small town’s society. Last year, Yosuke’d resented him for that. He’d been jealous of the way the mantle of leadership settled on his shoulders like it had always belonged there, of the magnetic way he drew others to him; and then there’d been that colossal mistake of a summer, and he’d been angry at feeling like a joke, like a toy to be discarded and replaced when it didn’t perform as expected.

But even that had been part of the journey; he’d learned a lot about himself on those late, lonely nights sitting by the Samegawa. In that darkness, he’d finally managed to stop lying, at least to himself, and admit that maybe what he’d been most scared of all this time was of himself, and of the dreams and hopes that didn’t fit the mold he’d expected his life to fit into. It was a strange thing, honesty; it was both so much harder to face, and yet so much simpler to live with, than denial. Then again, that shouldn’t have come as a surprise after the TV world; hadn’t that been its message all along? Accept yourself.

So Yosuke had accepted himself. He’d accepted that he wanted more from life than slowly climbing the ladder of retail work at Junes, spending his money on whatever he was told the right clothes and the right movies were that month. He’d accepted that he couldn’t always be the happy, comic-relief friend people expected him to be. And, perhaps hardest of all, he’d accepted that he didn’t dream of soft curves and sleek long hair at night, but rather of a silver bowl cut and muscles that were anything but delicate.

He’d been jealous at the beginning, but it was much harder to resent someone when you’d seen them broken, sobbing in a cold November snow, and when all the envy and the anger and the fear had fallen away, all that had been left was love.

  


Yosuke smiled as he sliced through the tape on the expertly-wrapped package with the edge of his nail. He wouldn’t have expected anything less from Mr. “Good With His Hands” Narukami. To his surprise, it revealed a worn novel he recognized; he knew that specific copy, having seen it on Yu’s shelf every time he’d come over to his house. It was one of Yu’s favorite books, which he’d had from childhood. Yosuke had promised to read it over their time apart so they could discuss it the next time they met, but he hadn’t expected to be given the original copy.

He carefully opened the front cover, mindful of the threadbare spine, to find that Yu had not only given him one of his most prized possessions, but had even defaced it for him. The entire double page was filled with Yu’s neat handwriting.

_To my beloved partner,_ Yosuke started reading, letting his fingers trail over the slight indentation the ballpoint pen had left in the paper.

_Thank you for this past year. I’m sorry that I haven’t always been the best friend I could be to you; I can only promise not to make the same mistake again, and hope that you will stop me if I ever am too much of a fool for my own good again._

_It’s hard to put into words how deep my affection for you runs, but unfortunately I can’t simply show it to you anymore, so words are all that I have. I could ramble on about the color of your eyes, the perfection of your face or the charm of your smile, but I’m sure you’ve heard me do that often enough to be tired of it by now. Nonetheless, let me reiterate how lucky I am that someone as beautiful as you would love me._

_But more than your appearance, it is your very being that I love—your optimism, your kindness, your relentless motivation to do good. I feel that I am the best person I can be when I am next to you, if only because your goodness reflects onto me. I hope you will allow me to continue standing by your side for many years to come._

_I wrote this in pen so I wouldn’t be able to go back and change anything, because I was afraid of being too much of a coward and erasing everything, but I think I kinda got way too sentimental there. Sorry! I know we’ve only been dating for a month and this is all a bit much. I have to admit, while I hope it doesn’t scare you, I truly mean all of it. It feels like it’s been so much longer to me. I can’t imagine anyone ever being as close to me as you are._

_Speaking of things that are maybe a little premature, you should go see Daidara. He’s got a gift for you, from me. Before you freak out about it—no, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just something I wore a lot this past year that I wanted you to have to remember me by. The day when I get you one that means something, I’ll make sure it’s much more special than that one, I promise._

_I’m going to miss you so much, Yosuke. There’s no place I’d rather be than in your arms. I’m really sad I have to leave, but I’m not afraid. We took a long and twisted path and still managed to make it to each other; whatever life tries to throw at us, I know we’ll overcome those obstacles, too. After all, you’re my one and only partner._

_Love_

_Your Yu_

* * *

In a train not so far away, although getting steadily farther by the minute, Yu pulled on a familiar pair of orange headphones. Yosuke had shoved them around his neck moments before the train doors closed, probably well aware that he would have tried to give them back otherwise. They were such an integral part of Yosuke that it seemed wrong for the two to be separated. Now, as he felt their familiar weight on his head—Yosuke often slipped them over his ears to share his latest favorite song with him—he was glad he hadn’t had a chance to return them. In a way, it was almost like a piece of Yosuke was coming with him.

As the train picked up speed, he unlocked the small music player that dangled from the cable. On the main screen, a single playlist appeared, titled, in true Yosuke fashion, “listn2me.” Yu smiled and hit play.

The opening chords of the song were unfamiliar, which didn’t surprise Yu. He didn’t listen to music much, and rarely knew any of the songs Yosuke shared with him. It was more unexpected when the voice that started singing turned out to be _very_ familiar. Yu gasped out loud, causing the person sitting next to him to glance in his direction with a concerned expression.

He gave them a small shake of his head and they turned back to their book while he started the song over from the beginning. Now that he was listening for it, the sound quality was clearly not that of a produced album, as beautiful as it sounded. Yu closed his eyes and reached up to place a hand over one of the earpieces, losing himself in Yosuke’s singing voice.

He didn’t quite follow the lyrics; there would be time for that later, for deciphering every word, for picking out the meaning of every line. For now, he let himself just experience the music and the emotions they carried, an eclectic mix of melancholy, joy, excitement and determination that perfectly reflected Yosuke himself. They weren’t love songs, at least not in any obvious way, but that was right, too. Yu spoke Yosuke’s language well enough by now to easily translate this—the headphones, the playlist, the painstakingly recorded songs—into the love letter that they were meant to be, and he wouldn’t have changed any part of it for the world.


End file.
